Saturday, March 08, 2008

Kids do and say the funniest things

The Sparky clan were overcome by a brief wave of nostalgia this evening. Sparky Nan was over for dinner, and we got talking about years ago when Big Bro and I were much, much younger; around the time when I had chubby little cheeks and a mop of blonde hair that was so fair I could almost be mistaken for an albino.

Almost.

Anyway, the thing that sparked this conversation off was a recollection of one of the greatest achievements in Big Bro's life. At the age of four, you see, Sparky Nan entered him into a competition to draw an Easter card. So Sparky Ma duly set him down with a piece of paper and some paints, and told him to paint something … Eastery.

And, as she watched, he did. He painted a lovely, very well-proportioned Easter egg; he painted a lovely colourful border; and he painted a beautiful yellow chick. Then he started to paint another beautiful yellow chick on the opposite side, with careful little dabs of yellow paint. 

It was at this point that, for some reason, Sparky Ma left him alone for all of about 30 seconds time. And it was at this time that Big Bro decided that the chick needed some legs. 

Some legs that were about five times longer than they should've been.

Sparky Ma can still recall the utter horror she experienced upon seeing the mutant chick Big Bro had unleashed, but with the deadline for the competition looming fast, there was no time to get him to paint another picture, so she submitted it regardless. And what do know? The little bugger won. The prize was a £15 gift voucher for Dickens and Jones in Richmond which he swiftly spent on a large green plastic van that provided hours of fun throughout our childhood (and quite possibly slightly inappropriately beyond).

Anyway, so we were chatting about that painting tonight, and Sparky Ma said that she thought she still had it somewhere, before popping upstairs to rummage through her cupboards. Five minutes later she's back with an old plastic bag containing various treasures she's kept from our early years, including, for some reason, a headband decorated with silver milk bottle tops and a big star that I fashioned, aged five, for a school nativity play - the mere sight of which, allied with the overwhelming smell of mouldy 26-year dairy products imbued upon it, brought the memory of the event back with a jolt.

Ahem

Within a few seconds, the prize-winning artwork was found (how we laughed at that chick's exceedingly long legs!), after which we continued looking through the bag. 

And that's when we found an Easter card that I'd made for Sparky Ma and Pa way back in 1982. Now, the only explanation for what was inscribed within is that a) school teachers in the early 80s were sorely lacking in proofreading skills, b) I loved rhyming couplets, or c) Sparky Pa had done something to majorly piss me off.

Because I'd written: Dear Mummy and Dummy. Happy Easter. Love Tim.

It was at that point that I thought I might've outstayed my welcome for the evening and promptly headed home.

22 comments:

Dinah said...

I loooove this post. I am such a fan of childhood nostalgia. I wish there were pictures we could see of Albino Tim! Maybe you should try for that hairstyle.

I wasn't born yet in 1982.

Tim said...

I'm sure Sparky Pa has a copy I can nab, Dinah - he spent ages scanning in all the old family pics a few years ago!

I shall rummage through the family archives!

T-Bird said...

That's so cool you guys saved all that stuff!

I hope poor Dummy wasn't too upset by that card...

CyberPete said...

Awww that's so sweet.

I won a drawing competition once too. The local bakery wanted something christmassy and my mother sent me off to my room with a cookie and told me not to come out before I was done.

I won a huge cake for new years. We weren't told until suddenly the baker woman stood there ringing our doorbell on new years eve. Wow I used to be so creative.

Tara said...

Cute story, Tim! I love the fact that nothing was changed about the chick with the long longs and that he won the contest! And it's so touching when parents keep the artwork we made when we were kids. The bottle cap headband is great too. :D

I found a card I made for my dad back when I was about 11 or 12 and it was to thank him for letting me get my ears pierced. I drew these huge earrings on my face.

Tim said...

T-Bird - He took it quite well, though I daren't start using it in everyday conversation!

Cyberpete - An artist in our midst! And it seems from your latest post that the something of the baker rubbed off on you, hmmm…?

Tara - I'll try to get a photo of the chick - it's hilarious! The bottletop headband…? Maybe I'll leave that one well alone!

CyberPete said...

I'm rubbish at most creative things.

the only reason why I know how to make a layer cake (I'm hopeless at decorating as you could clearly see) is that I was forced to make them at every birthday.

Tim said...

Mate, I find it difficult enough buying a cake, let alone making anything that comes close to being one, so kudos to you!

CyberPete said...

Thank you.

There is really little to it. Except the decoration around the sides. That's not easy. I might have knocked back one too many before I started but still, it's not easy

Tim said...

The only thing I'm any good at decorating is the inside of houses.

eroswings said...

That is funny!

I usually blame the education system when I make a mistake ;)

missy&chrissy. said...

awesome story!

and can you model that bottle cap headband for us in one of your upcoming hair pics?

CyberPete said...

Sparkly Tim: That's so gay of you..

I love it (and IDV loves it more)

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I do!

That can also be taken as my answer to you, Tim, asking for my hand in marriage.
See how efficient I am!

Tim said...

Eroswings - You should try blaming other people… IDV did it!

Missy&Chrissy - Um… No! Anyway, the bottletop band has been returned to the cupboard from whence it came!! Muwahahahaha!

Cyberpete - Interior decorating is gay? I must be super-fabulous then! The person who hooked my broadband up a few years back complimented me on my house and asked if I was an interior designer: true story.

I should branch out…

Inexplicable Device - Funny that I never asked the question…

T-Bird said...

Marriage proposals and sparkly tiaras? I must've died and gone to heaven!

Dinah said...

Can you imagine how much fun a coven wedding would be?

Tim said...

T-Bird - It's all in IDV's tiny brain. Although I expect he's sitting in his dress picking out napkins and flower arrangements as we speak.

Dinah - It would be awesome! Followed by Coven offspring!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Are you saying I've gone all Haversham, Tim?

* adjusts veil *

Ooh, coven offspring! I can hear the clip-clopping of cloven hoofs now!

Tim said...

Like Donkey's kids in Shrek 3.

Hmmm…

skillz said...

*hopes that the picture of a 'chick with long legs' was of the woman variety*

Tim said...

Sadly not…