Sunday, September 16, 2007

Out 'n about

I've had a busy day! Up early and straight out on my bike for a morning ride, mainly because I'd planned a meet-up with Marcosy for the afternoon and it would be rude to go off cycling leaving him to stand outside my house ringing the doorbell like a special.

The ride was pretty uneventful aside from getting pelted by stones on the same road where I got pelted by stones while running the other night, and getting caught up in two sponsored bike rides; one was a palace-to-palace ride, while the other was something to do with Octopuses. First off all, if I'd known about either of these beforehand I'd probably have done one of them, but I have to say I got a little bit pissed off when the marshalls for the palace-to-palace one tried to direct me on their route; I thought about shouting "I'm not doing this!" or taking a different route in defiance, but actually what happened was that I just smiled and did as I was told. Interestingly, the Octopus one had Hell's Angels as outriders, so lord knows what charity that was for.

Oh, there was also a moment where I almost turned into a lycra lout (road rage just doesn't sound right for cyclists). Anyway, bascially what happened was that I was zoom-zoom-zooming down a road in Twickenham when this woman and her teenage daughter literally walked out in front of me. The bitch could see I was coming, and just looked the other way! I thought about crashing into them and shouting "CLAIMS DIRECT!" but the possibility of skinning my knees and crying in the middle of the road put me off. I almost shouted "LOOK!" which would've been an even more potent message if I'd dropped shorts and moonied the wench, but I ultimately decided better of it; they were actually on their way to church, and shouting at church-goers allied with the incredibly bad taste joke I've been telling this week (which I will not be repeating here) might make me a target for God's wrath. And I don't want to be smote. Smitten. Whatever!

Marcosy was coming over at 13:30, so by the time I got home I had just enough time to shave, shower, and have some lunch. And ponder over the fact that I've eaten an entire marble cake in the last two days. WTF?! Oh who cares - I'm a growing lad.

Anyway, when he did arrive we toddled off to Kingston - as we usually do - where I proceeded to walk like John Wayne, mainly because I'd ridden over a pothole on my bike ride which propelled my saddle up into my man-bits at a rather alarming velocity resulting in a general achy-ness.

So what did we get upto in Kingston? Well, we coffee'd, we walked around the shops, we quoted Boston Legal, and we both bought stuff; Marcosy got a top, and I got 6 pints of milk and some Nandos Perinaise dip. Oh, and we also went to the Apple store where I was surprised to find that the new fat-Nano iPods are actually rather cool. And some diminutive little tart wearing far too much makeup shoved her arse into me while she was checking her Bebo account.

Highlight of the day without a doubt occurred as we were leaving though. Marcosy was queuing for the car park ticket machine when the woman in front lent over to pick-up her change. Marcosy pushed the ticket towards her arse, made a noise like the machine was taking the ticket, then shouted "BINGO!" I collapsed with laughter, she turned to give him an odd look, and the people behind pretended they hadn't seen a thing. Awesome.


Another moment of hilarity ensued on the way home. We got stuck in traffic outside a shop with a curved front window, which made Marcosy's car look really dumpy. For some reason I found this hilarious. I'm not sure a photograph will do it justice, but here's one anyway.

No… It doesn't really work, does it? Shit. S'pose you had to be there.


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Yay! First!

Do all your friends drive Mini's?

The 'Bingo' thing sounds priceless.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

P.S. I notice there's still a lack of pics of a lycra-clad you...

Tim said...

No, just Marcosy. I'm currently working on the rest…! Minis for all! Muwahahahaha!

P.S. Ain't gonna happen!

Tara said...

Kou Kou Bar. Heh.

When my friend and I hang out, we quote lines from Will Ferrell movies. We have yet to pretend that someone's arse is a ticket machine, but there's always time.

Sounded like ya'll had a fun afternoon!

Tim said...

Oh, Tara, you should totally try to validate a ticket in a stranger's arse - hilarity ensues!