Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Junk

Sparky Ma and Sparky Pa went shopping to Uxbridge the other day, and while there they were given a free Christmassy gift.

Aside from sounding vaguely threatening, all this says to me is that if you go to Uxbridge you have slightly less chance of being mugged than if you go somewhere else. 

Which quite frankly I'm not sure I agree with…

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I was in Richmond the other day, and while walking along a normally quiet street I heard a god-awful scream followed by intense howls and tears. It was a little kid, about five, who was evidently being taught to ride his bike without stabilisers (good grief, don't they start them early these days - I'm pretty sure I had mine until about the age of 14…). Anyway, it seems that his mum had let go of his bike and he'd had a little wobble, but had not, mind, fallen off. 

As I approached, the mum was apologising profusely, and through his tears the little kid came out with a choice quote that I shan't forget for a while: "YOU LET GOOOOOOO … I DON'T WANT TO DIE!!!"

Genius.

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An aside:

So, um, British Olympic swimmer Rebecca Adlington…

Yeah…

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So, my initial smugness at doing so well with my Christmas shopping has given way to utter horror at my complete lack of motivation in doing anything remotely Christmassy since. I've bought all my presents, but I haven't wrapped any. I've bought my cards, but I haven't written any; I have some decorations, but I haven't put them up (although I might do that the moment I hit 'Publish Post'…).

I did decorate the Christmas tree at work today though! Well, when I say "I did decorate the Christmas tree at work' I actually mean  that I initially made a bit of a pig's ear of it, so I stepped back and barked instructions at two colleagues who subsequently carried out my orders to the letter did a better job. It actually looks OK now, even if some of our decorations, such as the Santas with what appear to be club feet and present-shaped peg-legs, are a tad disturbing.

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I know I've ranted in the past about the fact that people in the street appear to be inherently retarded, but really, today just took the biscuit. I'm walking back from Secret Starbucks, and about four gazillion people almost bashed into me because they were concentrating more on their phone/iPod/PDA than they were on how they were navigating a busy street at lunchtime. Seriously, I think it should be law that if someone's heading towards you at ramming speed you should be fully entitled to punch them in the throat barge them out of the way. 

Kudos to the dude I saw this evening though, who stepped off the pavement by Westfield, got clipped by a bus, and carried on walking as if nothing happened.

16 comments:

CyberPete said...

I haven't done any decorating or shopping or baking or anything. I'm so far behind.

I promised to clean and take photos of my flat and I haven't done any of that either. This weekend though.

I.MUST.CLEAN.AND.BAKE.

Tim said...

Yeah, me too … just without the cleaning and baking part…

CyberPete said...

Decorating is fun though.

If my flat was clean and tidy I would be only too happy to be prancing around to Mel & Kims Rocking Around the Christmas Tree decorating.

Tara said...

Yeah, my motivation has hit a wall at the moment too. I have my Christmas tree put together with lights, but I don't have enough lights and there are two ornaments on the tree so far. Next week I start my vacation so hopefully I'll get back into the spirit.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

The story about the kid and his bicycle of death has really cheered me up. I might even smile when I get to work.

Uncanny likeness you've found, too. Rebecca Odolington

Tim said...

Cyberpete - I miss Mel and Kim. They were awesome.

Tara - I did get my bag of decorations out last night! How good is that!?

Inexplicable Device - I thought it might. Nothing like a Christmassy tale of cycling and near-death to warm the cockles of your heart.

The Tall Red Head said...

If you think that your Olympic swimmer is not the best thing to look at..you need to check out Australia's offering in the form of Jessica Schipper. She is so unfortunate looking that they havent even put her photo up on Wikipedia. Google her, but please, don't blame me for any nightmares or nervous ticks you may get after it.

Tim said...

The Tall Red Head - Good grief, that's horrific! And coming from Australialand where Neighbours and Home and Away have taught me to believe that everyone is beautiful! I can only guess that she was born at sea, and learnt to swim when her parents threw her overboard…

CyberPete said...

I thought they only did the one thing as Kim Wilde was busy back then.

I hear she now fiddles with a bit of gardening. But they were awesome.

the projectivist said...

Tim, that stuff you heard or saw about Australian women?
basically it's true, all of it.

Australian women are clones of either Kylie or Elle or Cate or even Nicole (when she was at her pre-cosmetic surgery best, of course).

i love your story of The Boy and His Ride of Death, A Christmas Tale.
very sweet.

i also admire a man who is able to appear nonchalant when clipped by a speeding bus. now that's a real man.

missy&chrissy. said...

we haven't started decorating yet either. we keep telling ourselves that we're ok as long as it's more than 12 days before christmas. once the song kicks in, it's time to get moving on the holiday chores!

and as far as free-yet-threatening mugs go, that one is pretty cool.

Tim said...

Cyberpete - No, they did loads of stuff. I have very fond memories of Mel and Kim.

Kim Wilde? Not so much.

The Projectivist - Yeah, I think the kid and his bike is definitely a Christmas story that will swiftly become as popular as things like The Snowman, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and the whole Nativity thing!

Missy&Chrissy - I did it! I decorated!! Well by that I mean I draped some tinsel around Sparky Towers and put up my little red perspex Christmas tree - but it made the world of difference!

CyberPete said...

It isn't Kim Wilde?

The Tall Red Head said...

I TOLD you so! And I agree, I think she was thrown overboard at sea when a newborn, because you never see her proud parents in the stands cheering her on.

Oh, and keep thinking those lovely thoughts about us Australian women...just don't google or YouTube Kath and Kim...

Tim said...

Cyberpete - What isn't Kim Wilde?

The Tall Red Head - Ah, yes, I'm familiar with Kath and Kim, but I'm just going on the assumption that they're some sort of genetic anomaly or something…

CyberPete said...

Kim in the Mel and Kim charity single Rockin around the Christmas tree.