Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Theoretical situation

Imagine, if you will, that you are walking back to the office from lunch and you come across a cat. Awwww, you think, a little kitty. Then you notice that its fur is matted, and in some places missing. It’s painfully thin, so much so that you could probably wrap just one hand around it. It's moving slowly and awkwardly. It’s in a bad way, in other words. So you decide to do the decent thing and call someone who might be able to help it – say, for example, the RSPCA (that would be the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty toward Animals).

You stand just along the road from the cat, thinking that you’ll keep an eye on it until help can arrive. Just far enough away that you don’t cause it to panic or think that you're going to harm it. It’s now lying on the pavement looking exhausted.

After navigating several phone menus you eventually get through to someone in the emergency department who first asks for your full name, then your phone number, then your address, despite the fact that you’re over 12 miles away from home and it’s really not relevant. The woman insists, and because the cat isn’t really looking too good you give it because you just want to get the poor thing some help and unnecessary faffing about just means it'll have to wait longer.

The woman finally asks what the problem is, although she really doesn’t sound terribly interested. As you tell her, the cat gets up and walks unsteadily around the corner into someone’s front garden. The woman asks if you have hold of the cat. You say “no, but…” and then she cuts you off and says they aren’t going to send someone round just on the off-chance they might find an injured cat. She says you should call back if you see the cat again and can confine it. You start to argue but she just interrupts you again and asks if it’s OK for them to keep your details on record so they can get in touch about appeals and fundraising events.

You say “no,” when all you really want to do is shout “get someone the f**k out here to help this cat.”

She says no worries and hangs up.

The cat is gone.

16 comments:

Dinah said...

That is really sad. Poor kitty. Poor Tim!

T-Bird said...

Can you get some food, lure kitteh and adopt kitteh?

It will snozzle you for evah. Trust me, rescue kittehs make the best companions.

Tim said...

Dinah - I know! I've lost a lot of respect for the RSPCA. Or 'respec' as we say on the streets.

T-Bird - I want to get it some medical attention first, but I'd never say never…

T-Bird said...

Seriously, that would be the most awesome thing if you could help da kitteh!

Plus - O. M. G. Your new Facebook pic is sexay. I'm sure the rest of the coven agree!

Tim said...

I agree - it looked like it needed a good home, and didn't look like it would be mad and, well, Dexter-like.

As for new Faceboob pic, awwwww, shucks! Ta dude! Glittering Lee took that one. I think his flash accentuated my eyes. Either that or photoshop did.

Tim said...

Oh, and I only noticed earlier, but is it just me or do I have a little bit of wonky-mouth syndrome going on there?

Tara said...

I feel so sorry for that cat, wherever it is. I guess the RSPCA isn't into rolling up their sleeves to actually help animals, they're more into wasting time and having the nerve to ask for fundraiser participants.

CyberPete said...

poor kitty!

Well RSPCA isn't another anagram thingamabob for respect.

I hope someone else had the opportunity to help it out now that evil uncaring woman refused.

Do I really have to get out of the bath? I feel so dirty after seeing your new photo.

RAWR!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Now, you know I'm not the world's biggest kitty fan*, but, my goodness, I don't like to see any animal suffering (with the possible exception of Beaky). The RSPCA have gone down in my estimation, now.

T-Bird is right. This Coven member does agree wholeheartedly about the sexayness of Facebook Tim. That fearsome gaze has me on the verge of swooning. Plus, wonky-mouth sundrome is hot - Just look at Milo Ventimiglia(sp?).


* Although I am coming around. I think it's those pics & videos of Peecat, QT & Dexter that have swayed me. Why, the other day, I actually bent down to tickle a cat behind the ears when it approached me.

Dinah said...

This coven member can't see the picture...but agrees that it is very sexy, because it probably is.

Tim said...

Tara - I know! It's infuriating!! I try to do my little bit to help an animal in distress and they just want cash!

Cyberpete - I kept my eyes open for it today, but didn't see it… I hope someone's managed to help it.

And yes, out of mah bath. You're hogging all the bubbles.

Inexplicable Device - They've gone down in my estimation too. I wonder if there's a rival animal help league I can pledge my allegiance too?

Stop swooning! And what does 'sundrome' mean?

Dinah - What?! Why not?! To steal a phrase from my favourite mid-morning radio show: You got eyes, don't ya?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ah. It seems I'm leaning a little to the left. That u was supposed to be a y...

Tim said...

Stop leaning this instant!

missy&chrissy. said...

that poor cat! i hope it comes 'round again and you can adopt it.

Dinah said...

Maybe only people who are your Facebook friends can see it. I just see a big white space. Is it you in a ghost costume?

Tim said...

Missy&Chrissy - I'm keeping my eyes open, but I haven't spotted it since!

Dinah - That's odd… I can see it using other machines that I'm not logged into… But yes, it's me in ghost costume. In a blizzard!