Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Analyze this

I had a dream last night. Don't worry, nothing fruity. No, it was a bit of a weird one, to be honest, and a bit disconcerting. It was the sort of dream where you wake up just a little bit freaked out.

It kind of went like this:

War had broken out, and so I'd rushed over from Sparky Towers to Sparky Ma and Pa's house. All my family were there, and we could hear explosions in the distance. Despite the fact that it was a bright sunny day we knew that we weren't safe, so we decided we needed to make a break for it - abandoning everything we knew. That included leaving Earth, I should add. And how did we make this grand escape? By hover-car, or course. Fortunately, Sparky Pa had one (in a deep metallic red if I recall correctly). So we all piled in and powered the thing up. Unfortunately, dream-generated hover-cars aren't exactly that good, it seems, and we had to skim along just above the ground for a while before we had enough oomph to gain altitude. 

At the same time, explosions were detonating in the blue sky around us and it was all a bit worrying as to whether we were going to get blown to smithereens before we could leave the atmosphere. Fortunately, Sparky Pa is quite adept at handling a hover-car, and deftly piloted around any missiles that headed in our direction. 

After a little while, though, the explosions stopped. We looked out the windows and couldn't see a soul on the ground below us. Everything looked deserted. So for some reason, we decided to abandon our plan to leave Earth and set down in the middle of a residential road. As I mentioned, it was a lovely day; bright sunshine, blue sky, and comfortably warm. We all decided we'd have a quick look down some of the side roads, and we were at least two roads away from the hover-car when we heard a low murmuring.

And it was as the hordes of zombies lurched into view, and I wondered how the hell we were going to get back to the hover-car, that I woke up.

Now, what the hell that all symbolises I don't know, but if anyone would like to hazard a guess please let me know in the comments. I should also add that at the moment I woke up, when it was still a bit dark outside, someone was walking slowly past Sparky Towers, and hearing their footsteps on the pavement I really did have to consider the possibility that the zombie apocalypse had finally struck.

Of course the burning question on everyone's lips has to be - why the hell hasn't anyone published this shit yet?


To top the day off with an equally freaky conclusion, I've just been to running club, and as the nights are drawing in we're finding that we're running a substantial amount of the session in the dark. In Richmond Park. 

And for those that don't know, there are no lights in Richmond Park.

It was all quite exciting at first, but as the group spread out many of us effectively found ourselves running alone in the dark. I was OK with this at first, until I glanced over and saw a shape standing in silhouette in the bracken staring at me.

It was a massive deer. With huge antlers.

I'm not ashamed to say I totally legged it from there onwards. Usian Bolt had nothing on me - *nothing*.


T-Bird said...


T-Bird said...

Ok, now that my contractual obligation has been lived up to...

I'm crap at other people's dreams. All I do is examine what has been on my mind, and then look at the motifs and the theme of the dream. See, if I had your dream maybe personally I would have been thinking about family and such. The zombies... well. No idea you sick puppy!

Watch out for zombie deer!

Tim said...

I think the moral of the story is that I'm a mentalist.

Ooo - zombie deer! RUN!

Now I'm definitely not going to be comfortable running in the park after dark…

Tara said...

Ah, you and your family could've taken on those zombies. I've had a few zombie dreams. Enough to think "WTF?" and look it up. It implied that either you're physically or emotionally detached or that you are feeling dead inside.

My hunch in your scenario is that the apocalyptic story you wrote in the creative writing class seeped into that creative brain of yours and went to town on your psyche....Or maybe your dad has some inner skills you don't know about, like driving a hovercraft.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I have this dream. But instead of zombies, it's Borg. Oh, and your dad isn't flying a hovercar...
I think your dream could be due to fears of losing control and your identity. Either that, or it's a horrible, horrible premonition!

Did the deer say anything?

CyberPete said...

I think the real question is WHO was standing outside in the dark with his wand out and grinning. No?

As for Shirley, I will wrestle you for her.

T-Bird said...

*muscles Pete and IDV out of the way*

As the last female members of the coven - Dinah and I will protect you!

You up for it, Dinah? Zombie deers and Tim's Tams?

Tim said...

Tara - I'm not sure about taking on the zombies. I think we might've been able to out-walk them, though! Oh, and I realised that before going to bed I'd eaten a massive piece of cheese, so maybe that caused my dream?

Inexplicable Device - Are you stealing my dreams?! I hope it's not a premonition, I think holing up against zombies would get a bit boring after a while.

The deer said nothing. It just stood … really … still…

Cyberpete - Now, the natural Denny response here would be to say that I'd sit on your face, but somehow I think you'd throw the match and submit straight away…


CyberPete said...

You, are no match to the power of the divine Shirley Schmidt

but tempting offer nonetheless.

I'm intrigued.

T-Bird said...


Dinah! Tim's up a tree again!

Tim said...

Cyberpete - Um, I take it you've not seen that episode yet…?

T-Bird - Help me down!

skillz said...

At the risk of getting Freudian on yo' ass, you clearly want to have sex with hover cars.

There, I said it.


Freud dude

CyberPete said...

I think I did. I have seen up until season 4, episode 2 or 3.

It is a bit of a blur

Tim said...

Skillz - Damn! I think you've nailed it! Someone get me a hover-car, some soft lights, and sweet music!

Cyberpete - When Denny and Alan wrestle and Denny beats him by sitting on his head. And later Denny says "it was exactly the same first time I slept with Shirley … flipped her on her back, sat on her head."

CyberPete said...

Of course!

For some bizarre reason Alan wears an indian outfit (cowboys and indians, not an outfit from India)

I like the new girl who shares Jerrys office. I am sad to see Denise go, which was odd because I didn't really like her that much.

Tim said...

That's right!

I don't think I've met the new girl yet… I did like Denise though. Until she hooked up with Brad - SLUT!

CyberPete said...

I love Brad!

The new English associate at Crane, Poole and Schmidt (I'M SCHMIDT!)

CyberPete said...

Oh her name is Katie

Tim said...

I shall keep an eye open for her. In a Denny Crane way.

missy&chrissy. said...

is this the 2nd deer you've spotted recently?? you are going to need your own show on animal planet soon!

Tim said...

Yeah, it is! Unless… unless it was the same deer on two different occasions! It was near the same place I had my previous encounter!!

EEK! I'm being stalked by a deer!

CyberPete said...

See, that's not how Denny Crane would put it. He'd say

"That's a deer, DENNY CRANE, where's my gun?"

Or something like that.

Denny Crane!