Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Things that make me go "HA!"

While I may appear to be a suave and sophisticated gentleman around town, the truth is that there's nothing I like more than base humour and simple jokes that will make me laugh like a speshul. And recently I've encountered quite a few things that have made me guffaw and point excitedly, not least this, which I saw on the always awesome Filmdrunk:

It's funny because it's a llama - THAT LOOKS LIKE TAYLOR LAUTNER! I'd wager it's a better actor, too.

And don't even get me started on Teen Wolf Pug.

So what else is there? How about…

This comment I saw on Facebook?
About 18 inches in the backyard? No wonder the unidentified individual couldn't leave the house for a couple of days.

Or this fantastic review left on iTunes for the television show When We Left Earth?

That's high praise indeed!

Oh, have you popped into your local Starbucks recently? Apparently they have used coffee grouds you can fertilise your garden with. Grouds? Don't I mean 'grounds'? Of course not, silly.

I'm sure your garden will look fabulous with all those grouds strewn around it.

A constant source of amusement is my blog's sitemeter. While Dinah is regularly and inexplicably plagued by people searching for naked pictures of Michael Landon, the most popular searches that have lead people to my blog recently have been 'A Season for Peaches' (a novel that was featured in The OC - Josh Schwartz really should write it, because lord knows plenty of people evidently want to read it), a title I used while reviewing a cold drink, something about the G.I. Joe movie, because my review of it is getting plenty of views, and 'my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,' which rather than leading to a post dedicated to the delightful Kelis actually gives unsuspecting readers a glimpse of hunky me making an exceedingly complex milkshake.

Among all those hits, though (hi newbies!), I recently noticed these exciting Google search topics:

Always one to be helpful, I'd say…

I really don't know. I'd need to do some hands-on research to be sure.

The search term that really made me laugh, though, was:

Now this is a hard one (stop laughing), because to answer this I'd really need to know what she wants it for. Is it purely decorative, like a fancy necklace, or does she live in a particularly rough neighbourhood and want to have it to hand should she need to fend off an attacker (apparently penises are the weapon of choice at the moment)? Maybe this guy could work out some kind of time-share agreement with his sister - y'know, like maybe he gets it during the week and she can have it at the weekend or something? Either way, I'm pretty sure I can help them out, bearing in mind I already know someone who has got a detachable device.


Not all things have made me go "HA!" this last week, though; one thing made me go "ooo" followed rather swiftly by an "ugh." I got a free sample of the new Marmite cereal bar the other day, y'see, and while Marmite's tagline is 'love it or hate it' I was left on the fence a bit. At first I thought it was delicious, but after every bite an excessively Marmity after-taste kicked in which sent shivers down my spine and made me think I was having a yeast-based aneurysm.

I'm really not certain, then, but if Marmite would like to send me some more samples I'd gladly see if I can come to some sort of decision.


Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ha ha! That 'poo review' is brilliant! But not the Marmite cereal bar - Bleeuch! And I usually like Marmite, too, but only on buttered white toast.

And I'll have you know that my device is no longer detachable.

Unless you want a go with it but don't want to travel - I'll pop it in the post!

Tara said...

I should've bought a little jar of marmite when I saw it at the store once, because I'd like to know what it tastes like. I'd also like to taste test Vegemite if I ever find it.

CyberPete said...

I can't even begin to tell you All that is wrong with vegemite/marmite (although I haven't actually tasted it of course).

Too many penis jokes. Brain overload. Be careful, it may go off prematurely?