Monday, March 29, 2010

Someone's got the decorators in

I don't know whether I mentioned this before, but Big Bro bought himself a flat a while back. This is exciting because if my experience of getting my own place is anything to go by he'll have a great time, and secondly, I'm utterly fascinated by what Sparky Ma and Pa are going to transform his bedroom into. When I moved out Sparky Pa turned my room into an office (quite startlingly quickly, it must be said), which leaves all sorts of exciting possibilities for Big Bro's former abode.

I'm hoping for a holodeck or a disco room. Or a panic room. Maybe a Panic at the Disco room?

What I remember most about getting Sparky Towers was that I absolutely loved the whole decorating process. As I've said countless times before, the stupid girl who owned Sparky Towers before me must've been either colour blind or, well, blind, because she had appalling taste in colour and decor (and men, according to the neighbours!). Thank God, then, for the fact that I was still living with Ma and Pa at the time because it gave me two months to sweep through the place like some sort of Dulux angel and eradicate all evidence of her mismatched touch.

Sparky Towers midway through its transformation. The red and white were my colour choices, covering forever a horrific wishy-washy shade of light blue. Note also the lilac in the porch. Outrageous. That was obliterated in an evening. Promotional consideration supplied by Evian Natural Mineral Water: Live young, live Evian.

Big Bro's place, however, is a new build, which means that it's fully decorated in neutral, inoffensive tones. When he put his offer in I actually got a little bit giddy at the prospect of breaking out my rollers and brushes and working my painty magic through another property, but he shot my dreams down pretty quickly by saying that he was happy with the existing colour scheme and wasn't planning on changing it.

But then last week he texted me to say he'd decided a splash of colour wouldn't go amiss in his bedroom. This made me clap like a speshul and bounce up and down in my chair a bit, even if the way he phrased his text did make it sound a bit like I should be honoured to have been asked. A day later, though, he changed his mind. Again. I came to the conclusion that Big Bro was just a tease, and was trying to generate as many peaks and troughs in my emotional state graph as he could.

I was not happy.

Until he changed his mind again.

So Sunday afternoon I found myself standing in his bedroom wearing the same old paint spattered clothes I'd worn when I decorated Sparky Towers four and a half years ago; fortunately, they're quite dark, so don't show up the red paint too much. This is good because otherwise they do kind of make it look like I'm Dexter or something.

Everyone's favourite happy murderer (he'll want to pop some Vanish on those blood stains - they'll come right out).

My initial thought when Big Bro put me in charge of the big roller was that he must've been well impressed with my decorating skills at Sparky Towers, but in hindsight what it actually meant was that I did most of the monkey work while he did the delicate little corner bits like a proper 'artiste.' And at one point he buggered off to buy some more paint, leaving me to effectively do three entire walls and the complex bits around plugs on my own. He'll find this amusing until I put an invoice in; I'm not as cheap as I look.

The colour he picked was some sort of light green, which sounds a bit disgusting but actually looks rather nice when it's on the wall and dry, and will no doubt conceal any bogeys he might decide to stick there. My overly vigorous roller-action meant that a rather unhealthy amount of paint sprayed back on to me (hence the need for a second tin), effectively pebble-dashing my arms and face. I ended the afternoon looking a bit like a Suliban from Star Trek: Enterprise, albeit without the ability to slip under doors or turn my head around completely.

No doubt I'll be picking paint out of my nose for days to come.

Naturally I did a sterling job, and was rewarded for my efforts with … a can of coke. There's nothing like settling down after a job well done, but seeing as Big Bro hasn't got any chairs yet, I made do with the floor instead.

Seriously, I will hunt down and thump the first person who makes a sarcastic comment about why I have a white stain on my leg.


Inexplicable DeVice said...

I actually like the paint-splattered look.

Or I would if I could see any photos. Bloody Blogger seems to be playing up...

Tim said...

It's probably you dodgy demon box.

They work fine on mine, but then I'm a Mac and you're a PC.

Was Windows 7 your idea?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Ew. I can now see the pictures. I'd assumed the paint-splattered look pic would be one of you, but it's an actual Suliban. Their skin reminds me of curdled cake mix. Ick!

And Windows 7 was NOT my idea, thankyouverymuch. Blogger appears to be working now, so, not only can I see your pictures, but I've managed to post the rest of the pictures on my latest post, too. Yay!

CyberPete said...

The Suliban eyes are disgusting! Hope yours aren't in that state.

I'm not so much into the painting and more into the furniture/accesorising decorating which is awesome if you have enough money.

Did you get a little too excited doing all that painting?


Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - I was going to take a picture of my paint splattered hand, but my other hand was paint splattered too and I didn't want to get paint all over my iPhone.

I could've asked Big Bro I s'pose … he was remarkably paint free…

Cyberpete - No, my eyes are normal. Well, as normal as you can get when they're dreamy pools of infinity.

I was excited by the painting, but not *special* excited.

Ponita in Real Life said...

So where's the green wall? Geez, you don't even have the decency to get a shot of the colour you've just painted...

I keep hearing about Windows 7 doing all manner of strange things... and I've not had a single issue with it since buying my new computer...

Tara said...

Yeah when I moved out of my mom's condo, she seemed to adjust quickly and instantly made the room into a reading room.

Can you paint my bathroom for me, please? I'll give you TWO cans of Coke! What a deal.

Tim said...

Ponita - Um, I didn't take a picture of it. It was all patchy where it was drying, and I haven't been over since. I'll get a pic at the weekend. In the meantime just imagine a, erm, green … wall…

Ack! Windows 7 was YOUR IDEA?!

Tara - Um … nope. I'd need maybe a Kit Kat too. Or some crisps. Ooo - maybe a chocolate muffin. Yeah, you've got a deal!

Ponita in Real Life said...

Well.... no.... Windows 7 was not mu idea. I was all prepared to obliterate it from the new PC and install XP, which I've been using for years and quite like. But after giving W7 a go and having found no issues, I've just left it.

But one screw up and it's history!

Ponita in Real Life said...

No 'mu'.... 'my'... *sigh* I really must proofread things before I hit 'send'.

Tim said...

Phew! I didn't think you'd be responsible for it, but it's nice to have confirmation!

(I still think it was IDV)