Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Crazy Spanish women

So Yazzle Dazzle and I were sitting in the sun outside Secret Starbucks today wittering away as we do most lunchtimes while we await the daily appearance of the looky-likey Michael J. Fox and Harold Shipman that stroll past us each day (no Harold today though), when I piped up with a new topic of conversation, reminding Yazzle Dazzle that it's the birthday of a mutual friend of ours, a delightful Spanish lady, in a couple of days.

Yazzle Dazzle responded to this news with … well, with a pretty vacant expression, actually. So I repeated it - again to a decidedly blank look.

Unable to believe that Yazzle Dazzle had erased our mutual friend from memory, I raised my voice and loudly exclaimed "y'know - dark hair, thick accent, moon-walks on London buses … crazy Spanish lady!" This finally jogged my esteemed friend's brain into action - but it also piqued the interest of a woman at the table behind us, who let out a short gasp of surprise.

My first thought was that this tanned, buxom, and somewhat diminutive woman had unwittingly flashed me a glimpse of her cock-pocket as she stood up from the table (she was wearing an awfully short dress) - but the truth was a just a little bit more embarrassing than that. As she walked away from her table she rested a hand on my shoulder, and with a smile on her face said - in a thick Spanish accent - "we're not all crazy, honey!"

21 comments:

Ponita in Real Life said...

Ow! A bad case of foot in mouth disease!!! ;-)

Tara said...

Well at least she was nice about it, right? But it's not like you made an extreme proclamation that ALL Spanish people are crazy. Just the one doing the moon-walk on the bus.

CyberPete said...

That always happens to me.

Oh and yesterday at work I called an insurance company and had used a direct number to someone we had listed. I talked to her for a while and finally got her to do what I wanted her to do. Then because I didn't catch her name at the beginning of the conversation I politely asked for it. She got very offended and asked how I could not know her name when I had called her direct line. This caught me a bit off guard and so I almost stuttered. Imagine that.

Afterwards of course I had a million comebacks like the call could have been transferred automatically because she wasn't there or maybe she should just learn to say her name clearly so people can actually hear what she says.

Damn it!

Emma said...

Did you get to hear about delightfully crazy Spanish lady's adventures in provincial France? In her words (cue thick Spanish accent), 'I make friend with a portugese boy, I do not understand his English. All there is to eat is meat and potatoes here, I climb into a garden to pick some apples off a tree and get chased out by a dog'. (Accentuate with lots of waving of the arms.)

God I miss her!

watch*paint*dry said...

Cock-pocket! Cock-pocket! I love that!
I would tut loudly if it weren't so damn funny.

Lol at Emma's story. Why does she always climb into places? She should know by now that it is never a good idea, she has had trouble with this before.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Hmmm... I'm rather concerned with the buxom midget's tactility with you. Not to mention calling you 'honey'. Methinks flirting was afoot. I hope you didn't encourage her?

Tim said...

Ponita - Just a little!

Tara - Although they are all crazy!

Cyberpete - You should've let her know how honoured she should be that you were even interested in her name!

Emma - Oh, she's a star!

Watch*Paint*Dry - We'd be upset if she didn't climb into ridiculous places!!

Inexplicable Device - Of course I didn't. Does the possibility of flirting trouble you?

CyberPete said...

I should have, because she should be so lucky.

And you are right, all Spanish people are bonkers as are Italians.

Tim said...

Very true!

CyberPete said...

As are Albanians.

I once knew an Albanian woman who couldn't sing and she would get up in front of all our friends to sing her version of My Heart Will Go on or any other atrocious Celine power ballad.

The poor woman couldn't sing and her accent was so thick you could hardly make out what she was singing. A blessing I know. She however knew better and her singing was pitch perfect. At least it was perfectly pitchy - and what's the difference. Heh.

Tim said...

You know Celine Dion?

CyberPete said...

If Celines real name is Manusacque, yes.

CyberPete said...

Wreewrrrrrrrreereerrrr

Tim said...

I expect Celine is her stage name.

Are you OK?

CyberPete said...

It sure is.

Actually I'm not feeling so hot today. Last night way....fun!

missyandchrissy said...

cock-pocket! that's great!

and good thing a non-crazy spanish woman overheard you...goodness knows what would've happened if this one was a little loca!

Tim said...

Cyberpete - Did Pete get a little bit drunk…?

MissyandChrissy - Aren't they all a little loca though?

CyberPete said...

An um..,.. Little bit

Tim said...

Details please.

CyberPete said...

I am not sure you could handle it.

On the other hand, swing by for a bit more info.

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