Sunday, November 04, 2007

Clumsy

I'm beginning to see a pattern forming that whenever I hire people to do some work on my house they inevitably balls something up.

Case in point numero uno: Last year when I had a super-powerful new telly aerial put up. While attempting to get a connecting sockety-thing* into my bedroom, the engineer managed to drill a massive hole in the wrong place in the wall. I subsequently popped down to Homebase to buy some filler, and spent the evening filling the hole, sanding down the bump, and painting over it, rather than watching telly via the super-powerful new telly aerial. I'm very precious about my little house.

And now let's move forward to…

Case in point numero deux: Mr. Decorator was back to continue his good work yesterday, and I must say Sparky Towers is looking much more asthetically-pleasing than it did. Unfortunately, upon opening my bedroom window he managed to knock his power-sander (which he'd left on the sill) onto the roof of my porch. Which is made of glass.

I think we can all see where this is going, hmmm…?

On the plus side, the glass is that reinforced hard core stuff, so it held. But it does have a rather large spidery-web crack in it. *Not* aesthetically-pleasing. Anyway, upon his return next weekend, I shall stand under said glass and just point up. Methinks a discount might be in order. Another thing to put on my to-do list…

It has just gone through my tiny brain, though, that I could have it replaced with the stuff they use in bifocal glasses - it'll be like my own porch-based solar observatory!

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I've got this week off work. This is my week off to-do list:

• Monday: MOT for my car. Longterm readers might recall that last year during a combined service and MOT I ended up turning a rather sickly shade of white and had to breath deeply into a paper bag after finding out that pretty much everything that needed to be replaced on my car needed to be replaced on my car. Rather like Michael Jackson's face, I'm pretty sure there's a double of my motor somewhere made up of the bits they took off. That being the case, I'm bracing myself for the fact that I could have a massive bill that destroys all hopes of me buying a new iMac and an iPhone. It *shouldn't* be the case, as far as I'm concerned, but I'm bracing nonetheless. It's always wise to put your seat in the upright position and brace.

BRACE GODDAMN YOU, BRACE!

• Tuesday: I have no plans. That being the case, I'll probably wander around the house all day in my pants. With the curtains closed!

• Wednesday: Haircut. I'm unsure what to do this time - any suggestions?

• Thursday: Christmas shopping with Sparky Ma. And by 'Christmas shopping' I mean we'll end up buying tons of stuff for ourselves, and nothing for anyone else.

• Friday: Party pants on - check! Friday is the day of my birthday party. Which I was looking forward to, but now I'm a little bit fearful, because when we went to book a space in the pub, Yaz decided that she would assume organizational control of the event. I recently asked her if she knew whereabouts in the pub we'd be sitting, so I could tell everyone and they wouldn't have to wander around the bar like meerkats looking for us. She just smiled knowingly, and replied "oh, don't worry, they won't be able to miss us…"

• Saturday: My birthday – and I'll get to test drive a Mini Clubman on it! Yay!!

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Now, if you'll excuse me, The Empire Strikes Back is on the telly, and I have an overwhelming desire to drape a blanket around my shoulders and stride around the house while the Imperial March is playing in the background.


*I don't know what these things are - if I did I would've done it myself!

14 comments:

Dinah said...

Sounds like an awesome week. I love it when it stretches out in front of you like this. So full of possibilities and iPhones.

Tim said...

Fingers crossed it's an awesome week. Hopefully without any more smashed windows.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Just becareful in your newly glazed porch on bright sunny days - Ants under a magnifying glass anyone?

And re Tuesday: Bugger.

Tim said...

That's a good point. I don't want to spontaneously combust every time I leave the house.

re. Tuesday: Foiled again, huh?

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I think you should reconsider the whole 'closed curtains' thing. After all, I need to see what your hair looks like now, so I can advise on what you should have done to it.

I'm only thinking of your best interests.

On a seperate note: I don't seem to be able to leave your Blog. I click on 'back' or a link and get stuck in a time warp.

Tim said...

It's just kind of short-ish at the moment, nothing you couldn't imagine with your imagination.

And that's because I've trapped you in a blog-based feedback loop, a bit like Scotty in the transporter in Relics. We'll let you out in 75 years.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Blast! 75 years with only HTML demons for company? You'll rue the day.

Start rueing, goddammit!

Tim said...

If by 'rueing' you mean 'laughing,' then yes, I'm totally rueing.

As Admiral Kirk once said: "I'm rueing at the superior intellect."

And by 'superior,' I actually mean … oh, you get the idea.

T-Bird said...

Happy birthday week!!

What an awesome sounding birthday week. Enjoy!

Hair... erm. Depends. Just don't go emo, ok? That's the only advice I can give.

Tim said...

It does sounds pretty awesome, huh? Although I have just realised that I actually got Tuesday and Wednesday mixed up; I wanted to get my haircut on Wednesday, but my regular ladeee doesn't work then.

And don't worry - I could totally never go emo. My hair's not that long - I'd need extensions!

Tara said...

I had to laugh at the vision of your friends looking like meerkats. I hate it when I have to search a restaurant or bar for my friends. The more crowded the place is, the harder it is to find them. Sounds like Yaz has something up her sleeve for your birthday! :D

Tim said...

Maybe I shouldn't tell everyone where we're sitting - it'll be fun to look at the meerkats!!

I fear the Yaz…

missy&chrissy said...

i love the meerkat imagery and am slightly jealous of your week off. anddd a bday celebration...enjoy!

Tim said...

A week off AND a birthday - I'm spoilt, huh?

I will indeed enjoy!