Blinded

You know how I was saying in my last post about what a great day I had on Friday? Well, truth be told, it didn’t actually start out too well; in fact, I had a bit of a disaster.

Let’s back up a bit.

About two years ago, well over a year after I’d moved into Sparky Towers, I finally got round to decorating the bathroom. It had been a manky lilac colour that the silly bitch who lived here before me seemed to be utterly obsessed by (I kid you not - the only part of the house that wasn't coated in it was the bedroom), and I painted over it with a classy white. I was very pleased with it, and with myself for having the enthusiasm to actually do it. The thing is, though, that I didn’t quite finish it; I’ve never gotten around to putting down any new flooring (it still has the old grey carpet), and I’ve never gotten around to putting a towel rail up (making do, instead, with the airing cupboard door handle). Worst of all, though, is the fact that I’ve never replaced the horrific roller blind that was put up in front of the window; it was green, which was totally out of place with the rest of the decor, and had turned a bit gross after getting damp when I showered.

You can see it HERE, in a video clip I made about a year and a half ago. Note how I said then that I intended to replace it “sooooooooon.”

Bizarrely, I’m actually wearing the same hoodie as I was in that clip. I didn’t realise I’d had it that long. Hmmm…

Anyway, let’s get back to Friday.

So, Friday morning, I get up and wander into the bathroom ready to carry out my ablutions before heading out for the epic shopping expedition. I reach for the cord to roll the blind up, but as soon as I pull it I hear a bit of plastic snap, and feel the cord go slack. The next thing I know the blind is unravelling before my very eyes like a cat unrolling a toilet roll. By the time it reached it’s full length there was a huge excess of material looming out over the bathtub. I rolled my eyes, decided that nothing was going to ruin my day, and left it.

When I got home in the evening I decided I’d better do something about it. It was quite clear that there was no way to fix it, so I decided I’d find a way of securing the fabric in place so I could shower without fear of putting on a nudie show for the neighbours, and probably get round to replacing it properly in about six months. Unfortunately, the moment I touched the fabric it literally peeled away from the roller, leaving me with three separate components: a roller (attached to the window frame), the cord that was formerly used to raise and lower it but which was now effectively just a bit of string, and a metre and a half of manky green fabric.

Bugger.

Knowing that I needed to do *something* to get the fabric back up over the window so that I could at the very least have a shower, I eventually decided to drape it over the roller and tape it to the window frame so that it wouldn’t fall away. It wasn’t a pretty solution, but it worked.

Look with your eyes! It's manky, it's green, and it's taped to the window frame. Ugh.

Problems arose on Saturday morning, however, because I quickly discovered while showering that tape doesn’t like moisture, and it started peeling away. I subsequently spent the duration of my shower squatting in the tub while hastily reattaching bits of tape as they peeled away. Knowing that I didn’t want to have to go through that every time I needed to wash my bits, I decided that something needed to be done. So, Saturday afternoon, I headed down to the Staines Massive, and bought a new, white, venetian blind, and this morning Sparky Pa popped over to help me put it up. I was very impressed; we did it in a little bit less than an hour, and he didn’t swear once - even when he knocked the bath tap with the blind and we both got damp shoes.

Look with your eyes! *Claaaaaarrrrsy.*

So, good times, over two years after decorating my bathroom, another phase is complete! Just got to sort out that towel rail and flooring now…