Friday, March 13, 2009

Choose your own adventure: third bloggy birthday edition

Yes, you read that right: today marks the third birthday of Sparky Malarkey! Doesn't time fly when you have nothing better to do you're having fun? And what better way to mark this historic occasion than to haul one of my semi-regular features out of retirement? Yes, it's time for choose your own adventure!

A few new luvverly people have started lurking around the comments since the last time we played, so before everything kicks off, here's the rules: I'll write a relatively mundane blog post, but cut out certain words, replacing them with a number (usually 10, but in celebration of my third bloggy birthday I've doubled it to an epic 20!). Your job is to fill in the missing words and paste your completed version into the comments section. Anything goes, and I particularly like it when you're dirty.

Ready? Here we go!

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I woke up at the crack of [1] ready to jump on [2] in the hope that I might be able to get some [3]. Sadly, despite trying both at home and at work, I failed epically. As you might imagine, this left me feeling a little bit [4]. Things didn't improve as the morning wore on, because I seemed to be having a number of issues with my [5].

At lunchtime I met [6] for [7]. Unfortunately, the people who have been handing out [8] all week weren't around so we didn't get to play [9] as we have for the last couple of days. A good time was had nevertheless, as we both complained about our lack of success in getting [10]. Before we knew it, lunchtime was over and we both had to head back to work.

The afternoon went by relatively quickly, and I left bang on time, stopping only briefly when I got back to my car to pay for my [11] (I've been a bit naughty and haven't done it for a couple of weeks!). I was home at just gone 17:30, where I quickly changed into my [12] and headed outside with a bucket and sponge to wash my [13] while it was still light. When that was done I had a [14] for [15], which was awesome, and a little later on I had a quick [16]. I've just watched [17], and have been chilling out listening to [18] for a while, although I think I might head off to [19] now. I don't want to tease you by mentioning this, but I've got a rather interesting [20] ahead…

4 comments:

Tara said...

Happy 3-year blogiversary, Tim! Here's to many more of those anniversaries. Your blog rocks and so do you!

Okay, now onto other news:

"I woke up at the crack of [midnight] ready to jump on [some pirates] in the hope that I might be able to get some [heroic medal]. Sadly, despite trying both at home and at work, I failed epically. As you might imagine, this left me feeling a little bit [psychotic]. Things didn't improve as the morning wore on, because I seemed to be having a number of issues with my [hired gunman].

At lunchtime I met [William Shatner] for [our usual, best friend coffee meeting at Secret Starbucks]. Unfortunately, the people who have been handing out [Red Eye] all week weren't around so we didn't get to play [Wii Sports] as we have for the last couple of days. A good time was had nevertheless, as we both complained about our lack of success in getting [tattoos and lip piercings]. Before we knew it, lunchtime was over and we both had to head back to work.

The afternoon went by relatively quickly, and I left bang on time, stopping only briefly when I got back to my car to pay for my [batmobile license plates] (I've been a bit naughty and haven't done it for a couple of weeks!). I was home at just gone 17:30, where I quickly changed into my [black, gold and orange, spandex swimsuit] and headed outside with a bucket and sponge to wash my [hot new, lime green MiniCoup] while it was still light. When that was done I had a [sudden urge] for [rob a bank], which was awesome, and a little later on I had a quick [nervous breakdown]. I've just watched ["Desperate Housewives"], and have been chilling out listening to [The Jonas Brothers] for a while, although I think I might head off to [Japan] now. I don't want to tease you by mentioning this, but I've got a rather interesting [spy mission] ahead…"

Inexplicable DeVice said...

"I woke up at the crack of IDV ready to jump on him in the hope that I might be able to get some hot witch action. Sadly, despite trying both at home and at work, I failed epically. As you might imagine, this left me feeling a little bit frustrated (damn IDV and his new boyfriend!). Things didn't improve as the morning wore on, because I seemed to be having a number of issues with my horn.


At lunchtime I met Toulouse-Lautrec for midget-throwingUnfortunately, the people who have been handing out non-famous midgets all week weren't around so we didn't get to play for very long as we have for the last couple of days. A good time was had nevertheless, as we both complained about our lack of success in getting Toulouse-Lautrec over the 40 foot line. Before we knew it, lunchtime was over and we both had to head back to work.


The afternoon went by relatively quickly, and I left bang on time, stopping only briefly when I got back to my car to pay for my hooker (I've been a bit naughty and haven't done it for a couple of weeks!). I was home at just gone 17:30, where I quickly changed into my Speedos and headed outside with a bucket and sponge to wash my self down with baby oil while it was still light. When that was done I had a wank for three hours, which was awesome, and a little later on I had a quick clean up. I've just watched two antelope mating outside, and have been chilling out listening to tribal bongo music for a while, although I think I might head off to the dungeon now. I don't want to tease you by mentioning this, but I've got a rather interesting S&M evening ahead…"

Well... How could I not do dirty?

btw, VW is 'resser'. Almost Reeser. She better not be lurking about here!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

P.S. Happy Bloggerversary!

Tim said...

Tara - Thanks!! And great choose your own adventuring there - except for the Jonas Brothers. The Jonas Brothers? REALLY!?

Inexplicable Device - Outrageous! And why is it that both you and Tara have me in some kind swimming attire for number 12? Is this some sort of conspiracy?