Damn and blast!

Let's get the good stuff out of the way first, eh? Fish and Chips flavoured crisps? Not so bad as it turns out. And by that I mean I'd actually have another packet, because they basically just tasted like some ready salted and salt and vinegar crisps got mixed up on the production line and shoved in the same bag - thank god, because I hate fish.

Two not-so-fishy thumbs up for these!

Now for the not so good stuff: I almost bought a new car yesterday.

I hope you're all gasping with excitement at that.

So, what happened? Well as you may or may not know I've been gagging at the prospect of getting my grubby little mits on a Mini Clubman quietly considering purchasing a Mini Clubman. In the last few months I've looked at a black and silver diesel one, and stormed out of a dealership that was selling a red and black one that I really wanted after getting into a bit of a barney with the manager (who was RUDE). Unfortunately I've not been having much luck; despite trying to get my lovely regular dealer (that's Mini, not drugs, I hasten to add) to covertly buy the red and black one for me, the rude bastards at the other dealer sold it to someone else, while the black and silver one sold quite recently just as I was thinking I might go rub myself all over it check it out again, or at the very least make encouraging-sounding noises about it.

This week, however, another Mini Clubman caught my eye.

How d'ya like them apples? Very much, as it turns out.

Now, initially I was all, like, ugh, white; my first car was white, y'see, and it was a bit of bitch to keep clean so I vowed never to have another white car again. But after looking at these pictures for several hours and drooling I came to the conclusion that this Clubman looked pretty darn awesome. Part of this, I think, is down to the fact that it has some awesome black wheels (one of the reasons that I lusted so badly after the aforementioned red and black one), which is a bit odd because the wheels on my current Mini are currently so dirty that they're virtually black and all I do is whinge about it.

Anyway, after procrastinating for a while I dropped my lovely regular Mini dealer an email and asked if they could put the feelers out; this Clubman was located about 150 miles away, y'see, and I really couldn't be arsed to do a day-trip to go check it out. Lovely Dealer Lady emailed me straight back to let me know that she'd put a call in and was waiting for a response, and then congratulated me on finding "a nice looking car!"

I got that excited butterfly feeling in my stomach! Not that I'd committed to buying it, of course; I was just, y'know, weighing up my options…

Anyway, throughout the day LDL (that's Lovely Dealer Lady to you) emails me a couple more times to say she's still waiting on a call-back, and I spend the intervening hours daydreaming about my new car - especially the twin panoramic sunroofs, which I figure will give me another angle to look out at when I'm stuck in traffic. I also decide that I'm going to pimp it out a bit by replacing the chrome grille with the all-black aero grille to make it look even more wickedy-wickedy-whack. Not that I was committing to buying it or anything.

Then, just before I'm about to leave work for the day I get another email from LDL. After three calls from her and one from her manager, the other dealership finally got back to them and said … the car was sold several days ago; they just hadn't gotten around to taking it off the website.

I almost blew my friggin' top. I'd been lusting after a car that had sold before I'd even expressed an interest in it! It's like one of those women that playfully teases you all evening, leading you into thinking you've got a chance before she flashes her wedding ring and says "oops, did I not mention I'm married?"

No you didn't, bitch.

ARRRRRRGH!! Just from the gamut of emotions I felt upon learning that I couldn't have this car, I now know that I totally would've bought it if it was offered to me. Several people have since patted me on the shoulder nicely and said that maybe the sale will fall through and it could yet be mine - but I say: stop patronising me, you bastards!

*sigh*

(OK, reading back over those last few paragraphs I appear to have gone through several stages of the grieving process in mere seconds)

And so, dear reader, the search goes on…