Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Damn and blast!

Let's get the good stuff out of the way first, eh? Fish and Chips flavoured crisps? Not so bad as it turns out. And by that I mean I'd actually have another packet, because they basically just tasted like some ready salted and salt and vinegar crisps got mixed up on the production line and shoved in the same bag - thank god, because I hate fish.

Two not-so-fishy thumbs up for these!

Now for the not so good stuff: I almost bought a new car yesterday.

I hope you're all gasping with excitement at that.

So, what happened? Well as you may or may not know I've been gagging at the prospect of getting my grubby little mits on a Mini Clubman quietly considering purchasing a Mini Clubman. In the last few months I've looked at a black and silver diesel one, and stormed out of a dealership that was selling a red and black one that I really wanted after getting into a bit of a barney with the manager (who was RUDE). Unfortunately I've not been having much luck; despite trying to get my lovely regular dealer (that's Mini, not drugs, I hasten to add) to covertly buy the red and black one for me, the rude bastards at the other dealer sold it to someone else, while the black and silver one sold quite recently just as I was thinking I might go rub myself all over it check it out again, or at the very least make encouraging-sounding noises about it.

This week, however, another Mini Clubman caught my eye.

How d'ya like them apples? Very much, as it turns out.

Now, initially I was all, like, ugh, white; my first car was white, y'see, and it was a bit of bitch to keep clean so I vowed never to have another white car again. But after looking at these pictures for several hours and drooling I came to the conclusion that this Clubman looked pretty darn awesome. Part of this, I think, is down to the fact that it has some awesome black wheels (one of the reasons that I lusted so badly after the aforementioned red and black one), which is a bit odd because the wheels on my current Mini are currently so dirty that they're virtually black and all I do is whinge about it.

Anyway, after procrastinating for a while I dropped my lovely regular Mini dealer an email and asked if they could put the feelers out; this Clubman was located about 150 miles away, y'see, and I really couldn't be arsed to do a day-trip to go check it out. Lovely Dealer Lady emailed me straight back to let me know that she'd put a call in and was waiting for a response, and then congratulated me on finding "a nice looking car!"

I got that excited butterfly feeling in my stomach! Not that I'd committed to buying it, of course; I was just, y'know, weighing up my options…

Anyway, throughout the day LDL (that's Lovely Dealer Lady to you) emails me a couple more times to say she's still waiting on a call-back, and I spend the intervening hours daydreaming about my new car - especially the twin panoramic sunroofs, which I figure will give me another angle to look out at when I'm stuck in traffic. I also decide that I'm going to pimp it out a bit by replacing the chrome grille with the all-black aero grille to make it look even more wickedy-wickedy-whack. Not that I was committing to buying it or anything.

Then, just before I'm about to leave work for the day I get another email from LDL. After three calls from her and one from her manager, the other dealership finally got back to them and said … the car was sold several days ago; they just hadn't gotten around to taking it off the website.

I almost blew my friggin' top. I'd been lusting after a car that had sold before I'd even expressed an interest in it! It's like one of those women that playfully teases you all evening, leading you into thinking you've got a chance before she flashes her wedding ring and says "oops, did I not mention I'm married?"

No you didn't, bitch.

ARRRRRRGH!! Just from the gamut of emotions I felt upon learning that I couldn't have this car, I now know that I totally would've bought it if it was offered to me. Several people have since patted me on the shoulder nicely and said that maybe the sale will fall through and it could yet be mine - but I say: stop patronising me, you bastards!


(OK, reading back over those last few paragraphs I appear to have gone through several stages of the grieving process in mere seconds)

And so, dear reader, the search goes on…


the projectivist said...

please Jeebus, NO!
it has pervert van doors on the back for goodness sakes!!!

word verification has an input -


all the signs say NO.

Tim said...

Ha ha - YES! It shall be mine!!

Just, y'know, not this particular one…

Ponita said...

Tim, before you buy one, check out online forums regarding moisture in the engines. My sister has one (an '09) and it has spent 2 months in the shop before being returned to her. She just bought it in August last year. It appears there are lots with that problem and it doesn't matter what climate they live in.

Not sure if the ones over there (I am in Canada) suffer the same affliction, but you might want to check it out. It has been a problem for several years over here but you only find out by googling forums on Minis. She has the Clubman in electric blue (great looking car) but was ready to ask for her money back and leave them the car when they called her to tell her it was ready to go.

Research, man! Research!

wv = 'fulin' (foolin') which is what they will do if they don't ow up to the issues these cars have

Tim said...

Ponita - Don't worry, I'm all over the forums like a rash! I've had two Minis so I'm familiar with a lot of their … um, foibles, and I've been a long-time reader of the forums so I'm up to speed with the good and bad points of the latest versions.

I hope your sister's is sorted now - there's nothing worse than a sick Mini. You just want to hug 'em!

The Tall Red Head said...

I had the same thing a few years ago. We were looking for a "Family Car" that still had some street cred for the ex bloke, when we found the perfect car. V8, mag wheels, colour we wanted, EVERYTHING. We test drove it, measured the seats for 2 car seats and a booster seat, decided we loved it and would buy it. Said we would pick it up in 2 days after we had a organised a bank cheque etc. The next day they rang and said...THEY HAD SOLD an 18 year old that got finance. Because we didn't sign anything they could. I nearly firebombed their caryard. Rude indeed.

CyberPete said...

That is SO unfair.

I hope the sale falls through but I'm sure you'll find another, much prettier Clubman.

One that isn't white, because although it looks so pretty in the pictures it's still white and white turns grubby.

Tara said...

Hey, you never know what will pop up, so try to be patient a bit longer. Sending you successful mini clubman-finding vibes!

Tim said...

The Tall Red Head - Ah, you had me at 'V8'!! Sounds like an awesome car, and it sucks massively that the dealer went and sold it despite having a verbal agreement with you. Most car dealers are arses.

Cyberpete - White does turn grubby, but I'd look after it. I'd clean it ALL THE TIME!! Muwahahahaha!

Tara - Good advice, I'll do my best to follow it!!

CyberPete said...

I said that about my new mountainbike when I was 14.

Never cleaned it once. My dad sold it 6 months later because of it.

T-Bird said...

Ha! My first thought was "Predator Van Doors" upon seeing your wheels of coveting!

And Projectivist beat me to it! Huzzah for the Projectivist!

That was a lot of exclamation marks. I guess I'm pretty excited to be back.

BEAST said...

whats with these BMW/Mini dealers , I went to one to have a look at a mini and they were rude to me as well , really snotty like they were doing me a favour even letting me look at their cars , and as to wether they would let me buy one seemed to be in serious doubt.....w*nkers!

Tim said...

Cyberpete - No, seriously, I would. And if my Dad tried to sell it I'd have some choice words for him.

T-Bird - Huzzah, she has returned!!

Beast - I'm lucky, my regular dealer is really good; some of the others I've been in contact with … not so good! To be honest, the worst dealer I've ever been to was a VW one years ago who wouldn't even let me drive the car I was interested in unless I sorted out finance for it. First of all, I wasn't actually sure I wanted to buy it, and secondly I didn't actually want to do finance!

CyberPete said...

I had some choice words for my dad too.

Of course it was just a bike, nothing special.

I'd consider having it painted another colour though.