Sustain this!

I've just got back from a trip to Sainsbury's; the cupboards were running bare, y'see, so I decided to go restock them on what, I think, is my only free night of the week (more on that in the next few days - I'm such a tease).

So there I am, driving into Sainsbury's, when I notice a big ol' sign plastered across the wall outside:

OUR FREE PLASTIC BAGS ARE NO LONGER ON DISPLAY TO ENCOURAGE YOU TO REUSE!

(just ask if you need them)

OK, now, I'm all for being green and looking out for the environment where possible, but c'mon - I'm rocking up without any alternative (this may come as a shock but I don't carry a stash of placcy bags in my car). And quite frankly hiding the bags under the counter doesn't really do anything except force me to interact with the person at the till more than I usually would.

Anyway, so I stroll round and pick up a decent amount of shopping; and by decent amount I mean it warranted a trolley. When I'm done I find a reasonably empty till, and start offloading everything onto the conveyor belt. There's some woman in front of me buying enough to feed a small third world country, and asking stupid questions about her Nectar card. Eventually she pisses off and the till girl turns to look at me.

And she sighs, reaches under the till, and hurls a handful of plastic bags at me. I smile and thank her (because I was brought up to be polite), and begin packing. 

After a short while I use all the bags she's given me (five in total), and so I ask for a couple more.

"You should bring your own, you know." She says to me.

"I would have if I had known," I reply.

She rolls her eyes at me, hands me two more bags, and then says "you're supposed to be being green."

She almost got a Cranberry and Raspberry Muller Light yoghurt on her head. 

"It's all very well trying to get us to reuse old plastic bags," I said. "But the fact of the matter is that I was unaware of this new policy, and they're so weak that they fall apart after one use."

"You're supposed to buy the bag for life," she shot back.

"So this is a revenue raising scheme, huh?" I replied.

She giggled coquettishly, and said "I'm winding you up."

There is a fine line between flirtation and irritation. I weighed the Muller Light in my hand once more, then dropped it in the bag.

The fact of the matter is that supermarkets like Sainsbury's are big ones to talk. For years they've doled out plastic bags emblazoned with their logos like the child-catcher hands out sweets, happy for us to wander the streets like little advertising hoardings. We're a society used to them, so no wonder it comes as a bit of a shock when we're suddenly told we're oh-so-naughty for wanting them. Try to make me feel guilty? But hey! What about sustainable alternatives? Is not possible in this day and age to create a paper bag durable enough to survive the weekly shopping trip? One that would be rectangular in shape and thus easier to get more shopping in so that we'd actually require less - one that is, perhaps, a little more convenient than a plastic bag, and would fit better in the boot of a car? One that, when we're done with it it can be folded up and put in our recycling bins or returned to the supermarket where it can be recycled or reused?

Probably… but maybe it's a little too much effort.

So don't talk to me about the environment, Sainsbury's; I walked your aisles tonight, I saw the masses of plastic and cardboard fashioned into wasteful packaging on hundreds of your products. Take a look at yourself before you try to make your customers feel guilty.

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A far more pleasant shopping trip took place yesterday when I strolled up to the Apple Store for some new iPhone headphones. Don't worry, I didn't wash the last pair like I did my iPod headphones, but rather after eight months of constant use they'd gotten a little bit tired; that and the fact that some bloke brushed past me in the street the other day and accidently yanked the right headphone out with his pointy elbow - the little track-skipping clicker didn't work quite the same after that incident.

There's also the slightly odd occurrence of the rubber around the outer part of the right-hand headphone degrading and coming away. I was a bit worried that a lump of it might come off and get wedged in my earhole. I don't know why this happened; I can only assume I exude some sort of toxic ear residue. 

Anyway, whatever the reason I decided to buy some new iPhone headphones. And I did. With ease, and without the need for a bag. The Apple Store also email your receipt to you, so I was actually extra green by turning down a plastic bag, and not wasting paper by asking for a printed receipt. It's also quite exhilarating walking out of the shop with a new pair of iPhone headphones concealed in your pocket. It's the nearest I'll ever get to shoplifting, I imagine.

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OK, so I've been studiously reading lots of books throughout the year like the rest of the Coven … well, like Dinah and T-Bird, anyway; I believe IDV has stalled on a Meg and Mog book, not only because it bears startling similarities to his own life, but because it's a bit hard-going for him. There's some big words, don't ya know - like 'a' and 'the.'

Anyway, I'm saving my reading list for its traditional end of the year place, but I wanted to give you a heads-up on a book I just finished reading. It's called Knockemstiff and it's by a guy called Donald Ray Pollock. I bought this book back in August (picked up a signed copy don't ya know!) after being attracted to it by it's somewhat unusual packaging and sparse cover. It's a hardback book that's been trimmed down to look like a paperback - so the cover and the pages are all squared off to the same height, rather than the cover extending past the book block. I'm sorry if that sounds like some sort of publishing nerdgasm, but I genuinely appreciate interesting design and packaging.

But that would be all for nought if the book wasn't up to scratch - and by god this book was up to scratch. It's basically a series of interconnected short stories set around the town of Knockemstiff; characters mentioned briefly in one story play a prominent role in another, some of which are set years later. It's a great concept made up of stories that are very well told. Many of the characters aren't exactly the nicest people you could meet, but they're all interesting and often their stories are darkly humourous. Very highly recommended.

Next up? In at the deep end of Steinbeck with East of Eden. All 700-odd pages of it…