When real life and Family Guy collide

Do you ever have a moment where something happens and you suddenly feel really self-conscious about where you are and what you're doing? I don't often, but yesterday I did.

To cut a long story short, I've started writing my book again. Well, actually that's a bit of a lie - I've started proof-reading my book so I can tighten things up and refresh my memory of what it's all about so I can THEN finish writing it, hand it over to Grum for illustration purposes, and then go buy myself a damned iPhone. Seriously, I'm blackmailing myself - no finito da story, no iPhone; capeche?

I don't quite know when I became a stereotypical ethnic minority gangster, but that's beside the point - that's how I'm rolling these days.

Anyway, let's set the scene: I'm in Secret Starbucks. It's comfortably busy, but I have a table all to myself. My grande misto is to my right, my iPod to my left; the latter is playing tunes that are thematically close in nature to the story I'm writing (I say 'the latter' because I'd hate for you to think that I had some sort of musical beverage). I'm armed with my trusty red proofing pen and I am in the zone. I'm more focused on this thing than a person with 20-20 vision looking through binoculars at a Ford Focus. I'm THAT focused. 

So there I am in my little writing bubble - content and, yes, just a little optimistic as to how this things is coming along. Then, out the corner of my eye I notice the people at the table next to me getting ready to leave. And that's when it happened.

I happened to sit back to take a mouthful of coffee as one of these guys went to walk by; he literally stopped, looked at the papers in front of me, and the red pen in my hand, and instantly my thoughts went to Family Guy.

Now, I don't know if you're familiar with the clip I'm talking about (and of course I can't show you because Family Guy has disappeared off youtube), but there's a moment in the episode 'Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey' that goes something like this:

Chris: Meg, you are so full of crap. You're like those people who sit in Starbucks and publicly write on their laptops. (Scene with two guys typing on their laptops in Starbucks)
Guy #2: Hey, getting some writing done there buddy?
Guy #1: Yeah, setting up in public so everybody can watch me type my big screenplay.
Guy #2: Me too. All real writers need to be seen writing otherwise what's the point, right?
Guy #1: You should totally write that down!
Guy #2: Okay, will you watch me?

I haven't felt that self-conscious since that first-year junior school swimming lesson when I pushed off a little too vigorously from the side and my swimming trunks almost came down. I suddenly had an overwhelming desire to either a) defend what I was doing, b) make an unexpected off-the-cuff remark to deflect attention (such as "I like cats!"), or c) tell him to "mind his own f**king business and f**k off."

Ultimately, I just plumped for looking a bit shifty and wrapping my arm around the page like I was a 10 year-old shielding my work in an exam.

If it happens again, I think I might have to resort to slapping him up a bit with the manuscript.