In homage, Part I

Over the weekend, for reasons so long and complex I shan't bother to go into them here, I spent rather a lot of time thinking about the past. This ultimately led to me sitting on the floor on Sunday afternoon, routing through a load of old folders when I would've actually preferred to be doing something more productive like reading a book or taking a nap; I'm right into taking naps at the weekend these days. Anyway, so there I was, searching through some dusty old folders. I was actually looking for something specific, and after a while I found it: an old pink cardboard folder containing a series of photocopied pages.

Fourteen years ago, when I was in Sixth Form college, I decided to create a very personal gift as an 18th birthday present for a friend of mine. At the time we were both into Star Trek (yes, I know, I never grew *out* of Star Trek); this was, of course, around the time when DS9 and Voyager were both on the telly, and the same year in which Star Trek Generations had hit UK cinema screens. I was also doing my A-Level graphical communication project on the topic of starship design evolution in Star Trek, much to the chagrin of my teachers who would shake their heads at me as if to say I was taking leave of my senses until, of course, I claimed the school's very first A grade in the subject - but that's another story.

Any-hoo, as part of my friend's birthday gift, I decided to draw her a series of comedic illustrations (this was also around the time I still harboured a desire to be a cartoonist) based on Star Trek Generations, and the folder I was looking for at the weekend contained the last surviving photocopies of those original drawings (for all I know the originals don't exist anymore). And I thought "who could I inflict these upon for shits and giggles?"

That's where you come in, dear reader.

So here you have it - the first installment of my childlike scribblings from 1995!

(BTW, if you're not too familiar with Star Trek Generations you might want to watch the film to help you get the most out of what's coming your way over the course of the next few days; alternatively, I will be captioning each illustration in a wry, possibly somewhat derogatory fashion. Of course, if you don't care, which is more than likely, that's fine too!)

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This is the title page. It explains what this nonsense is all about. Note the UK spelling of 'generalizations.' If I used that I'd work I'd probably be fired.

Drawn 1/10/95. This is based on a sequence that was cut from the final film where Soran tortures Geordi with a probe that stops his heart. I thought it would be funnier if he showed him some holiday photos. Hmmm. On the plus side, I think you'll agree I totally nailed the look of Malcolm McDowell. I also seem to recall feeling distinctly uncomfortable drawing Geordi's massive nipples and moobs.

Drawn 14/10/95. The comedy here is that, in the series, I always thought Dr. Crusher had ridiculously massive shoulder pads, and paid far too much attention to her tricorder when her patients might be violently bleeding out on the biobed. Nice womanly hips on Geordi.

Next: Two captains meet!