Sunday, January 04, 2009

100 resolutions per minute

It's funny, but it seems like few people are making New Year's Resolutions this year. Maybe it's something to do with the current climate? I heard an interesting fact a few months back: as the credit crunch began to hit sales of expensive fruit smoothies fell while sales of chocolate rose. Everyone started comfort eating! Which probably explains why when I've asked people what their New Year's Resolutions are they've shrugged their shoulders and gone back to rubbing a king-size Dairy Milk on their face.

Last year I said that I'd be following the example of the mighty William Shatner by making my resolution a simple one: be better. And d'ya know what? I'd like to think I accomplished that goal. I can't think of any really specific incidents where I was being better, but just in general I thought I was a smidgeon better in total; I've certainly been a bit more tolerant when the need arose, and on the other hand, a bit more forceful when I needed to be. I certainly think I've been a nicer, more considerate person - even when others haven't been. I have followed Shatner's word to the letter, and it made me feel better as a whole. Good times.

As far as I'm aware, the mighty Lord Shatner hasn't sent down any word of what I should be doing this year, so I've had to make my own resolution. And here it is:


Oooooo! And why have I chosen this as my New Year's Resolution? Well, it mainly stems from my book. As longtime readers will know, I finished writing my novella back in the second half of last year, but have since faffed about and made many ridiculous excuses about why I haven't gotten around to publishing it through CreateSpace. Well, no more! I'm going to get it all sorted out and done ASAP! And then, I'm going to be less complacent in other areas too! I think I've been sitting around too much in the last couple of years waiting for things to happen to me, and it's about time that I got off my backside and MADE them happen. You need to go after your hopes and dreams, not let them drift about on the horizon while you watch a repeat of Scrubs.

So this is it: I'm going to be less complacent in 2009. I'm going to be driven and focused. I'm going to win!

*and the crowd goes wild!*

That's me then; stop rubbing a Dairy Milk on your face and tell me what your resolutions are.

An aside:

Has anyone ever seen REM frontman Michael Stipe and Edna from Emmerdale in the same room? Thought not…

Spooky eh?

So what else have I been doing besides devising a life-changing resolution? Um, not much to be honest. I've been playing Lego Batman on my Xbox, which is good fun, watching a looooad of DVDs such as The Dark Knight, Iron Man, Half Nelson, The X-Files: I Want to Believe, and the latest season of Family Guy, and reading a new book, Superpowers by David J. Schwartz, which I'm thoroughly enjoying (but you'll have to wait until this time next year to find out how I rate it). What else…? Oh yes, I invented my own beverage, which I think Starbucks will be eager to take on…

May I present: the Bubblecino! Zero calories, and a refreshing, somewhat soapy aftertaste - yum!

… And found a shop that's perfect for the one-legged lady in your life:

In other matters, I also saw Twilight. And no, before you ask, I am not a teenage emo; Best Mate Jo wanted to go, so I tagged along. And we went in the afternoon so it was cheap. The film itself was … OK, I s'pose. I can't say I'd rush to see it again, nor any of the inevitable sequels. And I definitely wouldn't read the books (sorry T-Bird). But what I did learn is this:

• The vampires of the Twilight universe have nothing in common with the vampires of any other universe.
• They vampires of the Twilight universe can be easily distinguished by their bouffant and somewhat fruity hairstyles.
• The vampires of the Twilight universe don't explode in sunlight; instead they "shimmer like diamonds." Although I thought they just looked excessively sweaty.
• Everyone is very po-faced in the Twilight universe.
Cam Gigandet still can't act.

I shall be seeing my first film of 2009 on Wednesday, when Willowc and I head off to catch a screening of The Spirit, the year's most reviled and badly reviewed movie (I would normally add 'so far' to the end of that sentence, but it looks unlikely that there'll be a worse movie). As you can see, I'm setting the bar p-r-e-t-t-y low.


Tara said...

That's a great resolution!

I'm going to refocus on my job and try not to whine about it as much. 2008 brought a boat load of changes and they were not smooth. But I'm just gonna head into work tomorrow with a mission to get stuff done like I've been doing there for over six years now, but with more motivation.

Oh and I really, really, really need to see these two films this year: "X-Men Origins: Wolverine" and "Underworld: Rise of the Lycans"

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I'm so glad I didn't go and see the Twiglet movie now.

I haven't made any resolutions this year, but if I was, I think it would be along the lines of yours (resolution, not anything else...).
Although, last year I did say that I'd resolve to get a boyfriend and somehow I managed it, so perhaps this year I should resolve to keep him? Of course, that would mean you'd have to put up with slightly less lasciviousness from me - I hope you won't be too disappointed?

Tim said...

Tara - That's the spirit! I like you thinking there. As for films - X-Men Origins: Wolverine YES, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans … not so much…

Inexplicable Device - Did you use a bear trap? And really, don't worry about me - carry on, I'll get by without your perving somehow. Really.

the projectivist said...

i come here for The Factoids.

(i don't really. i just wanted to use the word 'factoids')

what's wrong with Underworld?
i thought that Kate did a fine job in her slinky leather slash pvc getup.

i worry that by labeling something a 'new year's resolution' that it might be doomed to failure. but if i were to have to call it that, i guess my resolution for the year is to force myself out of my comfort zone. to do some things that i've always wanted to try, but never had the confidence.

CyberPete said...

I hope you won't resolve to pulling a Little J - although that does seem to work for little Jenny for the time being at least.

For me it's eat less, spend less, make more and live more.

Tim said...

The Projectivist - I just didn't particularly enjoy the first Underworld movie… Kate was fine, but I found the story (yes, I was looking for one!) a bit dull!

Cyberpete - A little J? Huh?

That's a good resolution. Do you think it will work?

missy&chrissy. said...

that bubble is pretty amazing! how did you make it? maybe "inventing even more new beverages" should be on the resolution list for're already on your way with the practice from all of last year's milkshakes!

and lego batman looks AWESOME - we kind of want an xbox just so we can try it out.

T-Bird said...

I just can't wait for when they make the straight to DVD final movie WHERE HE EATS A BABY FROM HER TUMMY!

I bet Tori Spelling will be in it. I love Tori movies.

Bubblecinos away!! Happy New Year, Dude.

CyberPete said...

Absolutely not, it's doomed from the start but I have to at least try.

Yeah, been watching way too much Gossip Girl. Now I'm caught up though. Season 2 episode 14 here I come

watch*paint*dry said...

I LOVE Family Guy! I love love love love it.
I got an original cell for my birthday of the Princess Leia episode. I loves that too I do.

Tim said...

Missy&Chrissy - The bubble just appeared while I was doing some washing up. It was like a sign - from God! Or Starbucks…

Lego Batman is awesome in so many ways - possibly the only disappointment is that you can't play it online…

T-Bird - Ugh, can you imagine Tori Spelling eating someone's tummy? Gross! Happy New Year to you too!

Cyberpete - No, there'll be no Little Js for me! And you're halfway through season two? Geez, I've not seen anything past season one!

Watch*Paint*Dry - You do? Hurrah! When we catch up I'm going to talk Stewie to you all evening!