Monday, April 28, 2008

I makes tinternets

I am officially edumacated: last week I went on two - count 'em - TWO courses. The first was a 'high-fa-luting' Adobe InDesign course in a posh building near the Houses of Parliament. So posh, in fact, that Sting and his strangely duck-like wife brushed past me in the street - no doubt getting some fresh air after six hours of tantric sexiness. That actually has nothing to do with the course, but, um, rwar!

Anyway, so I always go into these sort of things expecting them to be exceedingly dull, but this was actually very interesting, mainly because the guy running it was a top chap who made it very easy for specials like me to understand what he was talking about. In fact, I enjoyed it so much that I actually sent Scanner Dave an email during a coffee break to say "this is awesome." 

He thought I was being sarcastic.

Another benefit of being sent on this course was that it's given me a new skill, it was very expensive, and work paid for it. Hurrah!

The second course I did took place on Saturday, beginning at the horrifically early hour (for a Saturday) of 9:30. And this was one that I paid for myself, so I have no one to blame but myself. Oh, and Willowc, who talked me into it because she wanted to do it too.

Anyway, this one was all about the basics of HTML (no, not 'how to meet ladies') and CSS (that's 'cascading style sheets,' not the jaunty Brazilian pop combo), because I've had the urge to learn all about making websites for ages, and I thought I'd scratch it for the fairly reasonable cost of 85 Earthly pounds and two Saturdays, the latter of which was particularly erksome because it was the hottest day of the year so far and I was couped up in a classroom that overlooked a pub garden. Bah!

On the plus side, this class, like the InDesign one, was fascinating, and I'm pleased to say I wasn't quite as stupid as I thought I might be, and both Willowc and I seemed to pick everything up with relative ease (although she did tut at me on one occasion, and I subsequently called her "dummy" when she missed a hyphen out of a line of code).

The upshot of the day was that both Willowc and I are now the proud owners of really basic, rather shitty little intranet sites currently residing in the college's server. They're like tinternet throw-backs from the early nineties; cro-magnon websites, if you will, but heavy-browed, straggily haired, Captain Caveman-like offspring that we love all the same.

The last session is this Saturday, and I'm really rather looking forward to it. I'm hoping I can make some jaunty colours flash in sequence.

23 comments:

Tara said...

Hey, welcome back! I love taking courses like that. It's so nice when the instructor is actually good at instructing so that everyone from the entry level to the advanced can understand him/her. I took a graphic design class once. It didn't involve computer programs, she just taught us about layout and design. It stayed with me and I still try to follow her instructions when I'm blogging.

T-Bird said...

You totally need to do a Homer and just load up lots of moving emoticon thingies all over your page!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I shall be expecting some very impressive changes from you, Timothy!

On the blog front, not the lifestyle front. Although, you know I'm always here to assist in any lifestyle changes...

Oh, and, yes: Welcome back!

CyberPete said...

That sounds like complete awesomeness!

I really want to learn stuff like that but I can't go to these things alone and I don't know anyone who wants to learn stuff like that.

Glad to have you back

missy&chrissy. said...

ooh, we hope you start bringing some of those jaunty flashing colors to your posts over here!

and hilarious - his wife DOES look like a duck!

Tim said...

Tara - Yeah, I enjoyed the course. And the bonus was that there's only five of us in the class, which makes it a bit more informal and less 'school-like.'

T-Bird - We'll see … I'll unleash my newfound powers at some point!!

Inexplicable Device - Don't get your hopes up! I think I'd be more interested in trying to make a website from scratch rather than fiddle with blogger and mess it all up!

Cyberpete - Of course you can go to these sort of things on your own! You'll meet new and interesting people!!

Missy&Chrissy - I don't think the internet is fully prepared for jaunty flashing colours!! And she totally looks like a duck - she's like the missing link between us and Howard.

Dinah said...

I totally thought of Homer's website...if you're not going to go all graphics on us, maybe you should become Mr. X!

watch*paint*dry said...

Thought you would like it, glad you do! Now you are doing Indesign, you can use it for websites too. It is ever so clever it is. Check out the 'Table' menu. There is also a clever little button tool you can use to convert your graphics to buttons, quite easily too. Genius!

CyberPete said...

But it's such a long trip to go to your classes

trust me, there are no interesting people where I'm at.

Plus it'd be like going to the movies or out to dinner alone.

*shudders*

Tim said...

Dinah - Only time will tell how I shall use my new powers… the important question is: will I use them for good … of for EVIL!?

Watch*Paint*Dry - I think I love Indesign. We might get married - I've already seen her tools, it's only fair I show her mine!

Cyberpete - Really? That's a shame. I go to the movies on my own - there's nothing to worry about! Going to dinner on your own is weird, though.

CyberPete said...

I couldn't possibly go to the movies alone.

I imagine everyone staring at the guy who couldn't get a date to the movies or has no friends.

T-Bird said...

Or, Pete, they could be wishing they had the stones to go the movies by themselves. I go alone, sometimes.

It's nice to just sit there and stare and not have to share popcorn or talk. I always feel obliged to make banal conversation about the previews before the moofie. Being a lone gun for hire eliminates that need.

Oh, and people asking you "What just happened?"

Tim said...

I'm with T-Bird on this one, Pete. I'll sometimes go to the cinema in the afternoon if I've got time off work, or straight from the office for an early evening showing. Seriously, who gives a flying monkey's if you're sitting there on your own? If someone is sitting in a dark cinema staring at me and pondering my life, they've got serious problems with their own.

I order you to go to the cinema on your own.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Yes, go!

I love going to the cinema on my own - usually straight after work when it's quiet. One gets the best seats, there's usually no distracting yukky food smells, no rustling sweet wrappers, and no foul mouthed little brats!

Dinah said...

I go to the movies by myself most of the time. Partly because sometimes I just decide randomly to go to stuff without planning it ahead of time, but mostly because if I didn't then I'd never go do stuff. I'm getting better at eating alone but I agree, it's definitely different than a movie. Although sometimes after a movie I wish I had gone with someone so I could talk about the movie. But then again I usually spew it out on the blogworld.

CyberPete said...

I'll have to reconsider then.

If all of you kool people are doing it.

Hmmm

watch*paint*dry said...

Lol, that Indesign gone and seduced you, the dirty temptress that she is!
I totally go to the movies alone. But I am doing so less and less due to foul-mouthed brats that Inexplicable Device seems to have encountered too.
I have also eaten in a restaurant alone before, but only once, it was weird. I was on a business trip and my only other option was eating a sad cardboard sandwich in my yucky hotel room with no TV.

missy&chrissy. said...

cyberpete, i haven't ventured to the movies alone yet either.

but thank you all, this thread is making me want to - especially the thought of having the popcorn all to myself!

T-Bird said...

I've eaten out alone a few times while waiting for my car to be serviced. (I said 'car').

I just make sure I always have a book or magazine to read so I am not bored.

CyberPete said...

Oh I could never eat alone at a restaurant.

Imagining saying table for one to the waiter is traumatic enough

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - Are you sure that's why *you* go to the cinema on your own?

Dinah - I don't eat out alone much; not because I've got anything against it, but I tend usually to make arrangements to go out to eat, rather than just do it spontaneously. Going to the cinema alone is kinda different, huh? Eating out is more of a social thing, isn't it?

Cyberpete - Do it! It's no big deal!!

Watch*Paint*Dry - It *so* did! Dirty InDesign!!

Missy&Chrissy - You haven't!? There's no stigma attached to it - just do it!!

T-Bird - Yeah, that's the way to do it, otherwise you're just left staring off into space while you wait for your food, huh?

Cyberpete - Start with a trip to the movies, then we'll help you work your way up to a restaurant.

Baby steps.

eroswings said...

"I've eaten out alone a few times while waiting for my car to be serviced. (I said 'car').

I just make sure I always have a book or magazine to read so I am not bored."

T bird, is that what they call it down under? servicing your car? ;)

Tim, that's awesome you got a great instructor. When I took a web course in college, the instructor had us buy this book...he just put out assignment due dates while we worked off the books; I'd've saved about 300 dollars if I just bought the book instead of wasting it on this class...

Tim said...

Those wacky Aussies, huh?

Yeah, it was a good class - I did the last one today, and I actually understood most of it - wahay!

Sounds like your class wasn't so good. That's awful, actually; I hope you tried to get your money back!