Sunday, November 08, 2009

The C-word

Mention the C-word to me at the moment - and by that I mean Chr***mas; get your mind out of the gutter - and there's a good chance that I might take you down with a roundhouse kick. As far as I'm concerned, it's way to early to be dealing with Chr***mas stuff at the moment; I mean, I haven't even had my birthday yet (hint, hint).

As far as I'm concerned, Chr***mas - and that includes all decorations, advertising, and general frou-frou - should be outlawed until December 1st.

Still, as with most things, there is an exception to the rule. And in this instance it's a caffeine-based exception to the rule.

Towards the end of October I was informed by the manager of Secret Starbucks that head office had decreed that Chr***mas would begin in every branch of Starbucks on November 4th. That meant decorations, Chr***mas music, and the traditional Chr***mas beverages. I can, however, forgive them for the former solely for the arrival of the latter. It should also be noted that as he told me this he rolled his eyes and said that he was considering telling them that the CD of Christmas songs had gotten lost in the recent postal strikes that have plagued the UK; in fact, his general demeanour was like that of Michel from Gilmore Girls, which I highly approve of.

At any rate, my normal fury at the mere mention of any impending festivities was placated by him handing me a bunch of vouchers for free Chr***mas drinks: BONUS.

So, on Wednesday November 4th I strutted down to Secret Starbucks (I actually did - it's all a result of me following the instructions of my yoga teacher and being conscious of my posture at all times, although the music I was listening to probably helped too; my iTunes recently listened to list informs me it was the Rolling Stones), and ordered a venti gingerbread latte.

For none-Starbucks aficionados, 'venti' means an effing big one.

(And is it bad that I originally, subconsciously wrote 'addicts' instead of 'aficionados'?)

Then I settled back in a comfy chair and watched an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia on my iPhone (Mac and Dennis: Manhunters - thanks again, iTunes recently played list!). GOOD TIMES.

They actually gave me a spoon to eat the cream.

But it didn't end there! In the evening I strolled down to Westfield where, after buying a piece of soap and being given the most ridiculously immense bag in which to carry it, I treated myself to a dark cherry mocha.

Knowing how sweet the dark cherry mocha can be, I wisely went for a tall (i.e. small) so as not to overpower myself and fall over.

All in all, then, while I am incensed that Chr***mas is kicking off so early, I'm pretty happy about the holiday beverages coming back. And I'm sure I'll be getting better acquainted with them this coming week as I'm off work - ready to start my Chr***mas shopping…


Dinah said...

I LOVE C-word drinks. The good news is that Second Cup has already rolled them out. The good/bad news is that there's a Second Cup in the building where I work, which makes procuring these drinks way too easy. But delicious.

Most stores here had things all laid out before Halloween, then when it was over it became the focus. Places like the Second Cup went all out C-word on November 1.

(small voice: I love it)

DO you have your birthday week off?

CyberPete said...

I adore that holiday. I really do. Having two months of it is fabulous. The preview for the Disney Scrooge movie with Jim Carey is getting to me though. It's everywhere!

They had the first decorations up around here at least 3 weeks ago.

the projectivist said...

oh my giddy aunt!
did you say "dark cherry mocha"?
i thought i would choke on my salivating flippin saliva when i read that - i MUST try it!
fingers crossed they've brought that flavour out here too.

Tim said...

Dinah - So do I. Admittedly they do help me get in the Chr***mas mood, so I shall have to limit myself so I don't peak too early.

Chr***mas has been kicking off already here, too; I was doing a yoga class the other week and the council were putting lights up outside. It was most off-putting.

And yep, I'm off - good times!

Cyberpete - I'm not too sure about that film, although I'll probably end up seeing it. I hope Jim Carrey isn't too … Jim Carrey-ish.

The Projectivist - I did! If they haven't brought it out there, give me a shout and I'll pour some in a jiffy bag and send it over. You might have to reheat it, though.

Inexplicable DeVice said...

What? What are you talking about? What is this C-word of which you speak? I've never heard of it.

Well, a witch can dream, can't he?

I'll have some of that dark cherry mocha too, please.

Tara said...

I thought you would be ecstatic that Chr***mas stuff was going up already. Now if they were putting up stuff in September or October, I would roll my eyes then.

It's irritating when people put one item in a huge bag. I know that the bag factories make smaller bags. I'm sure of it.

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - Are you, by any chance, thinking of a different C-word? Outrageous! No dark cherry mocha for you young man!

Tara - Not just yet. I'm sure I will be soon enough, and definitely by December 1st, but at the moment I'm a bit "meh."

Inexplicable DeVice said...

* gasps in shock *

No! I do NOT mean that C-word. Whatever it might be.

WV is devito. I expect the next one to pearlman.

Tim said...

Pearlman?! Sounds like a fancy superhero.

CyberPete said...

He doesn't appear to be too Jim Carey'ish. I can't stand that.

I need proper happy c-word, red suits and reindeer movies though. Which is why I have Bad Santa on DVD I suppose.

Tim said...

Aw, I loved that film! Right up there with National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation!!!

missyandchrissy said...

i'm so not ready for the C-word either...i almost threw a fit in a store the other day when a C-word song came on! but i thought it was totally acceptable to watch national lampoon's c-word vacation on tv last night because the total awesomeness of that movie transcends the holiday season.

is this the airport, clark?

The Tall Red Head said...

The decorations are all over the place here already as well. And have been since the middle of October. Terrible. It is worse when you have kids and they start with the "I want" lists that are taller than me. And that is tall.

Happy Birthday for Today as well Sparky Tim..hope you have a great day :)

CyberPete said...

Absolutely! They are gems! It's not proper C-word until you've seen them.

CyberPete said...

Happy birthday Tim

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Happy birthday!

I hope you have a great day seeing as you've managed to escape my from clutches yet again.

eroswings said...

Came over via IDV to say:

Happy Birthday, Tim !!!

Live Long And Prosper!

Tara said...

Happy Birthday to Youuuuu!

Tim said...

Missy&Chrissy - Oh, National Lampoon's C-word Vacation, which I'm officially calling it now, is good ANY day of the year!

The Tall Red Head - I've already been asked for a list of stuff I want! How bad is that? And bless ya - thank you very much!!

Cyberpete - Thank you sir!

Inexplicable Device - I'm like a greased ninja! Muwahahahaha! Ta!!

Eroswings - Thank you! And peace and long life to you too!!

Tara - Why thank you very much!!

Dinah said...

Happy birthday! I hope you're having an awesome day fully of awesomeness!

the projectivist said...

is it your birthday today?!
gosh - break out the bath bombs
whip up a jaffa cake shake -
Happy Birthday Tim!

Tim said...

Dinah - Ta! It was a good day!!

The Projectivist - It was Tuesday! A bath?! What a great idea - I might get all decadent later and go for a soak!! Thank you!