Groin + coffee = embarrassment

Of all the blog posts I have ever written, I think this one has the most obvious giveaway title. Like Ronseal, it does exactly what it says on the tin.

I had a full-on moment of utter stupidity yesterday lunchtime. I was sitting outside Secret Starbucks enjoying the fresh springtime weather with Yaz and Scanner, seated around a notoriously wonky table; truth be told, I would've preferred to be inside enjoying the nice warm temperature-controlled environment, but *someone* made us sit outside. Anyway, I'd already tried to cover Yaz in coffee (intentionally or not? Who knows!) by plonking her mug down in front of her and letting the notoriously wonky table do its thang, but, damn her, she's got cheetah-like reflexes and managed to swing her legs out of the way before it got her. All that meant was that I then had to go back inside to get some serviettes to wipe notoriously wonky table with. 

About 20 minutes later, though, I went to pick up my almost empty mug to knock back the last of my coffee, when – and I think this is what happened - I thought I saw some coffee about to slosh up and out of the mug. For some reason, some sort of bizarre animal instinct kicked in, and I rather violently slammed the mug back down on to notoriously wonky table. Notoriously wonky table subsequently tilted back in my direction, and I then watched as a large amount of coffee shot up in the air and landed right on my crotch. 

I looked down at my groin in disbelief (and not for the usual reason, fnar fnar). There was a massive damp patch. I totally looked like I'd wet myself. With no other option, I grabbed the last remaining serviettes from the earlier spillage, and unapologetically cupped myself right there in front of the lunchtime crowds walking down the high street. And I continued to do so for the next 10 minutes or so. Fortunately the coffee wasn't scalding hot; if it had been, I think I might've had to order a tall frappuccino simply to dumb it in my pants.

Anyway, by the time I walked back to the office, it was barely visible; at least I think it was. Maybe my mind's eye just sort of glossed over it, and I actually looked like a complete special walking down a busy road with a large yellow groin stain. 

There's a nice mental image for you, eh?

So, the end result of this story? Well, you know Starbucks knock 25p off the price of your beverage if you take your own cup in? Sorted.