Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Things to make and do

I kind of feel like I've not been posting much recently, which actually isn't true, but it's nagging at me anyway. Not only that, but time seems to have been very strictly regimented over the last few weeks; I can pretty much break my life down to:

1. Work
2. Yoga
3. Running
4. Crashing out in front of the tellybox
5. Twitter

And so this is where you come in, lovely reader. I'm looking for some excitement and adventure in my life and you're going to help me find it (or at least I hope you are; this could prove to be an epically spectacular FAIL if you all shun me like a diseased street urchin). To accomplish this I'm introducing a new competition, and the very first (and probably last) item of official Sparky Malarkey merchandise (and, for some people, the answer to long-held, slightly rapey desires).

Ladies and germs, I present to you: THE OFFICIAL SPARKY TIM CUT OUT 'N KEEP ACTIONLESS FIGURE!

INSTRUCTIONS!

1. Click on the picture above and print out your very own OFFICIAL SPARKY TIM CUT OUT 'N KEEP ACTIONLESS FIGURE.

2. Now glue your OFFICIAL SPARKY TIM CUT OUT 'N KEEP ACTIONLESS FIGURE to a piece of card - something like an old cereal box will do, although classier alternatives will be noted at the end of the competition. Cut carefully around me (do try to keep within the lines - I don't want to lose an ear or something). Maybe consider adding a rudimentary stand if you're sufficiently adept at cardboard engineering.

3. Relive your awkward childhood dress-up fantasies by accessorising your OFFICIAL SPARKY TIM CUT OUT 'N KEEP ACTIONLESS FIGURE with a stunning outfit.

4. Pop your OFFICIAL SPARKY TIM CUT OUT 'N KEEP ACTIONLESS FIGURE into a stunning background - either a real location (if you live somewhere awesome) or a picture you've stolen off the interwebs (if your present location is crushingly dull).

5. Now tell me about the awesome shenanigans your OFFICIAL SPARKY TIM CUT OUT 'N KEEP ACTIONLESS FIGURE is getting up to, either by posting on your own blog, or emailing it to me. At some vaguely undecided point in the future (let's say May 15th) I'll do a round-up of your childlike scrawlings awesome work (yes, I'll be cutting and pasting your posts into my blog to make it look like I've written a load of exciting content) and pick a winner. There's no prize, although I may be tempted to send some beard shavings random tat out if I'm overcome by your sycophantic efforts.

There we have it then. I dread to see can't wait to see what you've got in store for my little cardboard clones!

17 comments:

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Yay! Yay!! And thrice, Yay!!!

My dreams (as small and cardboardy as they are) may yet come true!

You fool. FOOL!!


Mwah hah hah hah hah hah ha!!!!

Inexplicable DeVice said...

I mean: What a splendid idea. I shall deliberate long and hard about this marvellous opportunity.

* ahem *

CyberPete said...

*AWESOME*

I will try to do it soon. Can't wait to get started.

Tim said...

Inexplicable Device - You disturb me somewhat, sir.

Cyberpete - To quote Yoda: Try? There is no try, only do!

CyberPete said...

Right, so I will do it later.

Tara said...

Lol.....And I mean LOL, this made me laugh out loud....at the office! Okay, I'm gonna start working on this project.

Tim said...

Cyberpete - Well, actually, you do have until the middle of May, so don't peak too early if your creative juices aren't flowing.

The first person who mentions IDV's flowing juices gets disqualified for freaking me out.

Tara - Brilliant! The laughing out loud and that you're starting work on it!

Princess said...

Dear Mr Sparky Malarky,

I am not one of your "syck-of-pants" yet but this looks like it could just be a little bit of fun to fill in a very booring day or two...

Oh hi Pete, IDV, fancy meeteing you here....

I think I shall enjoy this challenge Dhaarlings!....

Inexplicable DeVice said...

Oh, Princess, we never get sick of Tim-in-pants!

Tim said...

You've never seen Tim-in-pants so you're ill-placed to comment, Sir!

Princess said...

No... but me thinks that he shall have much enjoyment in making some short shorts to fit "tiny tim" then peel them off very slowly....


WV: etaking, are you serious???

Inexplicable DeVice said...

OK, OK... Tim-in-Trunks, then. Those 47 days loitering around the swimming pool certainly paid off!

* begins designing Easy-Peel Short Shorts *

Thank you Princess!

Tim said...

I'm beginning to think this may have been an ill-advised post…

Princess said...

Dear Tim,
I'm ready to go with a Post at
The Palais
It is a first installment in a series...
Just letting you know...

Tim said...

Bless you Princess! A wonderful start there, and you've certainly set the bar high.

No doubt a certain DeVice will lower the tone, though…

Inexplicable DeVice said...

"Ill advised"?

"Lower the tone"?!

How very dare you! I'm nothing if not a prude. And that p wasn't silent!

Tara said...

I haven't forgotten about Project Tim, I have the photos, but my software program was acting all slow and stuff. Hopefully posting after work today!