How is it I can have a quick dinner and end up with this amount of cutlery at the end? Seriously - was I using a different knife/fork/spoon for each bite?
Angel - Were they nice forks? Maybe dinner guests have been pinching them? My advice is to pop round your friend's houses and steal their cutlery. Works for m- that is, I hear it works for other people...
Inexplicable DeVice - REALLY!? I mean, of course! Five teaspoons to stir your coffee you say? (Shouldn't the peasants do that for you?)
Well, yes they do, but apparently I have to give them days off for funerals and sickness and the like - very inconvenient! So, I sometimes do have to stir my own coffee. I becoming quite adept at it now - most of the coffee stays in the cup...
Inexplicable DeVice - I think you should get a spoon monkey; I doubt they require satutory days off, and they'll work (hee hee) for peanuts...!
Dora and Tina - I think my spoons are breeding. Maybe I should keep them in separate drawers? Maybe I should start a spoon fetish awareness group?
Miss Haversham - you've discovered my secret! I had to photoshop out the other seven mouths. And don't even talk to me about the deformed head living in my chest cavity!
Well, I investigated our draw this morning and there were only 4 spoons. I think we need your help to start a breeding program over here! I think they might be on the verge of extinction. How did you get your spoons in the 'mood'?
Dora and Tina - A spoon-breeding program, you say? Hmmm... Now, spoons, like pandas, are a difficult species to 'get in the mood' - but it is possible. Spoons like to be used, because they're filthy like that; prepare a washing up bowl full of soapy suds, dim the lights, put on a little music - maybe some Barry White... maybe some Lovin' Spoonful – and then ... add the spoons.
Leave the spoons to their own devices for a few hours and you might return to find a spoon-tastic surprise. Or you might not, in which case you could probably just steal some new ones from restaurants!
M - there is no three-tittied lady, except in Total Recall; and the cat-woman in Star Trek V; and the astrologist in Mallrats, but that's just a nipple, and a stick on one at that, so I'm not sure it counts...
OMG. Spoons! Yayness!!! :)
ReplyDeleteIs it because your an eight armed mutant?
ReplyDeleteThe more I look back at this picture, the more I think:
ReplyDeleteDamn! That's a shitload of spoons.
Yayness indeed, Ryan, yayness indeed.
Martin - don't tell everyone about my mutation - haven't you seen Total Recall?! Me and the three-tittied lady will be gunned down!
The bigger question is where have all my forks gone? From a set of 12 I now have 5.
ReplyDeleteYou're obviously exceedingly posh. Everyone knows that one's level of poshness is directly correlated to the amount of cutlery one uses.
ReplyDeleteI use five teaspoons just to stir my coffee...
Angel - Were they nice forks? Maybe dinner guests have been pinching them? My advice is to pop round your friend's houses and steal their cutlery. Works for m- that is, I hear it works for other people...
ReplyDeleteInexplicable DeVice - REALLY!? I mean, of course! Five teaspoons to stir your coffee you say? (Shouldn't the peasants do that for you?)
Well, yes they do, but apparently I have to give them days off for funerals and sickness and the like - very inconvenient! So, I sometimes do have to stir my own coffee. I becoming quite adept at it now - most of the coffee stays in the cup...
ReplyDeleteThat IS a large amount of spoons. I don't think I could cobble together that many spoons at once at our joint. I think I am developing spoon envy!
ReplyDeleteheheeee! Total Recall. Those mutants were FUNNY.
ReplyDeleteBut is it possible you are an eight mouthed mutant rather than a small mouse?
Inexplicable DeVice - I think you should get a spoon monkey; I doubt they require satutory days off, and they'll work (hee hee) for peanuts...!
ReplyDeleteDora and Tina - I think my spoons are breeding. Maybe I should keep them in separate drawers? Maybe I should start a spoon fetish awareness group?
Miss Haversham - you've discovered my secret! I had to photoshop out the other seven mouths. And don't even talk to me about the deformed head living in my chest cavity!
Well, I investigated our draw this morning and there were only 4 spoons. I think we need your help to start a breeding program over here! I think they might be on the verge of extinction. How did you get your spoons in the 'mood'?
ReplyDelete"Me and the three-tittied lady will be gunned down!"
ReplyDeleteOhh, now you've got me thinking (again!)
Who could be the three-breasted woman?
Obviously someone you know well; possibly already mentioned in your blog entrys?
Dora and Tina - A spoon-breeding program, you say? Hmmm... Now, spoons, like pandas, are a difficult species to 'get in the mood' - but it is possible. Spoons like to be used, because they're filthy like that; prepare a washing up bowl full of soapy suds, dim the lights, put on a little music - maybe some Barry White... maybe some Lovin' Spoonful – and then ... add the spoons.
ReplyDeleteLeave the spoons to their own devices for a few hours and you might return to find a spoon-tastic surprise. Or you might not, in which case you could probably just steal some new ones from restaurants!
M - there is no three-tittied lady, except in Total Recall; and the cat-woman in Star Trek V; and the astrologist in Mallrats, but that's just a nipple, and a stick on one at that, so I'm not sure it counts...