Sparky Pa

My Dad passed away last Saturday evening. 

He’d been ill for over eight years and in these last few months we’d begun to prepare ourselves, but you’re never really prepared, are you? Losing someone is the most awful thing, but at the same time there’s a beauty to it, because your mind starts stirring up the good memories, too. The ones that make you ugly-snort while you’re crying, leaving people unsure whether to console you or join in with the laughter. 

Well let me tell you this: amidst all the sadness and the tears of the last few days, my little family have shared so many wonderful memories of my dear old Dad. And I want to share some of them here, too, because Dad was brilliant. Simply, wonderfully, beautifully brilliant. 

So let me tell you about this brilliant man who, depending on who you talk to went by David. Or Dave. Or DJ. Or Pa. And yes, even Sparky Pa every now and then. 

He had quite the life before Mum, my brother or I all came into the picture. He was a cheeky chap – something he got from my Nan (and something I’m grateful to say has been passed down to me too). As a teenager he once cut out a massive wooden template of a foot, coated it in white paint and stamped it across the roof of his college, emblazoning the words YETI FEET underneath it. I’ve seen the photographic proof of it. I was sure he got expelled for that, but in subsequent retellings of the story, he’d backtrack and say he just got a slap on the wrist. 

He once drove back to the UK from a holiday in Europe without a working clutch in his car. “How did you do it?” I asked. He looked at me like it was the most normal thing in the world and said “I took my foot of the accelerator and just forced it into gear.” As you do. 

I’ve always loved the story of how Dad met Mum. They both worked at Texaco, he a salesman and she a secretary, based out of an office in Twickenham. She was the only secretary who could read his handwriting (it was, by his own admission, awful), plus it helped that he had a ‘nice bum,’ apparently. Dad invited Mum to a party one night and she said yes, figuring she could change her mind later if she decided against it. Fortunately for me and my brother, she did go.

They got married in December 1974, and the following year my brother toddled along. Two years later I joined them. It’s always made me smile to see photos of Dad as a kid, because there’s a distinct resemblance between little him and little me. I am my father’s son, and proud of it. He often called me by my initials, TJ, which I always adored, though I knew I’d been naughty if he called me Timothy. 

I am my father's son

I remember family holidays to Cornwall where Dad would take us on long coastal walks, lugging his heavy camera bag containing an SLR camera and various lenses (this was in the days before compact digital cameras, let alone iPhones) to document the scenery and his knackered family slumped amongst it. On one walk I remember we encountered a gap in the path accompanied by a 40 foot drop to the sea below. Dad leapt across, followed by Simon, while Mum and I looked at each other with horror on our faces. Needless to say, without a care for health and safety we took a deep breath and leapt across, because where Dad went we followed. 

Another time, during a two-week holiday in the West Country where the sun failed to shine for 14 days straight, Dad drove us to the beach and then through a rain-streaked windscreen said “this is the beach we would’ve gone to if it hadn’t rained the entire time.” Nevertheless, other holidays did give us some beach time, with Dad memorably taking us to Vault Beach, a ‘local’s beach’ he’d discovered years before that was accessed via a long walk down a cliff through a field of stern looking cows and an accompanying minefield of odorous cowpats. 

Squad goals holiday snap

As I moved into my teenage years, Dad was always there to help me with homework and the maths and science topics I struggled to get my head around. Years later, long after my time at school, he’d patiently help me with another task I had huge difficulty completing: my tax return. With his glasses perched on his nose, he’d straddle that fine line of trying to educate me on how to do it myself, while effectively doing it for me so he could get back to watching Formula One. 

In fact, he did a lot for me that went above and beyond the regular call of fatherly duty – making Lego sets because I didn’t have the patience, and constructing a massive Playmobil galleon that my Nan bought for me one Christmas. After failing to find any instructions, he somehow put the whole thing together just by looking at the picture on the front of the box. And he remarkably didn’t flip the table over when, just as he clicked the final piece in place my Nan said “oh look Dave, the instructions are on the back of the box.” 

I think Christmas was one of Dad’s favourite times. Even in the era of smartphones with increasingly powerful cameras, he’d still race upstairs and get his digital camera, blinding us with blasts from its surprisingly bright flash. His cheeky sense of humour came out at Christmas, too; one year he gave Mum an Eternity Ring, but rather than wrap the small ring box as it came, he instead went to a builder’s merchant, bought two bricks, sandwiched it between them and then wrapped that. Another year, he put another present in a larger box, then filled that with expanding insulation foam. After half an hour of chipping away at it, Mum gave up and went off to cook the turkey, and Dad, hoist somewhat by his own petard, retired to the garage to hacksaw the impregnable foam casing apart. 

That garage. Oh, that garage. Dad was a man with an answer or a solution for everything, and quite often that solution was found in the garage. When I moved into my first house he prepared me a toolbox full of everything I might need, and even then there remained all manner of tools stashed here, there and everywhere on the walls of that garage. The sort of thing that the average person might throw out, Dad kept – and often found a use for it years later in the most surprising way. He was a whizz at fashioning things out of wood, from under-bed storage boxes to a beautifully made stereo cabinet. One year it snowed heavily, and in just a day Dad had made a toboggan that could fit me, him and my brother on it. And just a few years ago, even as the various conditions he was dealing with were taking their toll, he built a sturdy wooden step for the backdoor of the house, a project I think he really enjoyed. 

We used to play fight on a Sunday evening after dinner, me, Simon and Dad rolling around on the living room floor while Mum amassed enough washing for him to go do the drying up. One particularity rambunctious bout resulted in me chipping one of my front teeth a little bit; it’s so slight that a dentist could easily smooth it out, but I’ve never asked for it to be done because every time I feel it, it reminds me of those happy days. 

He loved cars and motor racing, from Formula One to MotoGP, and I know he treasured his days with Simon when they would go off to watch races at Brands Hatch and Silverstone. I always loved it when he was getting ready to choose a new company car and would bring home glossy brochures that we would pore over. Simon and I liked to think we influenced his decision based on the cars we thought would be right for him, especially those that gave us a rear armrest and – if we were particularly lucky! – rear headrests. I remember one time he was considering a Volvo and was given the opportunity to do a day-long test drive. I went with him, and I fondly remember that day, that seemingly normal, average, unremarkable day just pootling around West London in a borrowed car with my Pa. Of all the cars he had, I think he liked his sporty Orion Ghia Injection with a red stripe running around the bumpers and the red Sierra GLS best of all. Perhaps the Cortina and green Vauxhall Viva run a close second. 

I took this photo of Simon, Dad and Mum, and the red Sierra

When I passed my driving test and started looking for my first car, Dad came along with me to look at various motors within my budget. I remember test-driving an old Mini that felt like it was falling apart. He folded himself in behind the wheel, started it up, and drove it out onto a dual carriageway. “Oh this is awful,” he muttered as we listened to bits of filler falling out of the wheel arch. “It’s your money, but don’t waste it on this.” I didn’t hesitate to take his advice. A few years later in 2001 when I decided to buy one of the first brand new Minis, I was enough of an adult to test drive it and do all the paperwork myself – but I still took him along to the dealership the day after to show him what I was getting. He smiled as he took in the sight of the bright red Mini, getting in the driver’s side, looking at me and saying “this is like if I’d bought an MGB when I was your age.” Several months later when I collected my brand new Mini Cooper he sent me a text while I was sat waiting in the dealers that simply said ‘Enjoy, Cooperboy.’ 

It was a similar story when I decided to move out and buy my own place. I took Dad along for the second viewing of the house I ended up buying, and a big part of making that decision was because he gave it his stamp of approval. When I bought it, my entire family chipped in to help decorate; I made Dad take the kitchen cabinets off the wall so I could paint behind them rather than just around them, and he grumbled about it, said ‘bugger’ a lot, but did it anyway. He advised me NOT to paint my bedroom bright yellow because it would be too much – then painted my old bedroom that exact shade a few months later when he turned it into his office! 

Like all fathers and sons, we didn’t agree on everything, and we argued when I chose not to go to university. “You won’t get a job by watching Star Trek,” he admonished me – but when I did exactly that, he shook his head, laughed and congratulated me. Mum later told me that he delighted in telling work colleagues about his stubborn younger son who’d stamped his foot and forged his own path. I felt incredibly proud that he took that story, made it something to be celebrated, and shared it with anyone who’d listen. 

Dad had the most wonderful taste in music and I fondly remember him playing all manner of stuff in the car on journeys both long and short; Fleetwood Mac, Peter Gabriel, Crosby Stills and Nash, Eric Clapton and Steve Winwood (though he called him ‘Stevie’ like they were old friends). He made mixtapes of his favourite tracks and packed the glovebox and door pockets of his car with them. ‘Loving You’ by Minnie Riperton was his and Mum’s song early in their marriage, though in later years ‘True Companion’ by Marc Cohn took its place. 

He could go to sleep just about anywhere. We used to joke on a Saturday afternoon when he sat in his armchair and crossed his legs that he’d ‘assumed the position’ and we were right – in minutes he was out like a light. When he wasn’t snoozing he loved to read and I’d often see him with a paperback in his hands or, later, his Kindle; he read anything and everything and I always enjoyed talking books with him, telling him what I was reading and listening to him tell me about what he was currently devouring. Out of nowhere, years ago, he started writing these wonderfully witty poems and humorous messages. When Mum feared a Christmas present I’d asked for one year wouldn’t turn up until after the big day, Dad wrote a hilarious piece explaining how Santa was having supply chain issues to give in its place. Just two years ago he wrote a witty take on our family festivities titled ‘Christmas at the Lengoes’, printed out copies for all of us and put them in individually named envelopes boldly stamped with our names. 

A typical Christmas with the Lengoes

Dad loved his walks, but when he fell ill the opportunity to go explore different places disappeared. Still, he would take himself off for walks around his local area. One time, on a trip down from Cardiff in 2019 I found myself unexpectedly having to stay another day due to getting a puncture on a Sunday afternoon. With nothing else to do, I decided to go for a walk, and Dad asked if I minded him joining me. “I walk a little slower now,” he said, but while that may have been the case, we were out for well over an hour, walking down to the perimeter road by the airport, round to the church and the green, talking about this, that and everything in-between. It remains one of my favourite memories of time spent with him, just TJ and DJ out for a stroll. 

His world got smaller and smaller over the last few years, with his walks getting shorter and shorter, but he still did what he could when many others might have just given up. The last few years weren’t easy on him, but he never lost his sense of humour or that little glint in his eye when he was being cheeky. I have wonderful photos of him wearing silly Christmas hats, sticking his tongue out when he realised I was taking a picture, and in one particular favourite, pointing a replica Star Trek phaser at me. 

Phasers on stun

I feel so incredibly fortunate that I got to tell Dad how much he meant to me on the morning before he passed, just a few days after his 77th birthday. He was everything you could possibly want from a dad and more. Mum said it best: “He wasn’t much of a hugger, your Dad, but he loved you very much, that much is certain.” Life will be very different without Sparky Pa around, but my goodness, how terrifically fortunate we were to have him in our lives. 

Love you, Pa xxxx

Reading list 2023

Well. It really doesn't feel like a whole year since I last sat at my desk tapping out a reading list for this undernourished, somewhat (slash-quite-a-lot) neglected blog. Remember those halcyon days where I'd post every other day? That was fun. How the hell did I manage that? Don't answer that. Truth be told, this has been QUITE A YEAR, but that's another story. One I might tell sat beside a roaring fire while nursing a glass of cognac, aged 103 and looking wistfully off into the middle distance. But for now, all I can say is QUITE A YEAR probably explains why I only read 29 books this year, down from 51 in 2022 and 116 in 2021. 29? Pitiful. Hilariously, I started the year with about 20-something books waiting to be read, so I've barely done that most lovely thing of actually going to a bookshop and buying a new one to read there and then. And don't get me started on the pile of Dick Tracy hardbacks that I've been trying to make my way through for the last however-many years; I'm sure they're self-replicating. I've managed three this year and still have about eight to go before I've read the lot. Will I do it in the next 12 months? Probably not, but we'll see this time next year.

Anyway, back to those 29. For a relatively small number thank god none of them were duffers. Adhering to my usual A+ for stunningly brilliant reads I'd take to a boudoir and ravage for hours of sexy fun times if they were a person, and C and below for stuff you might tear pages out of to wipe yer bum with, nothing this year scored below B-. Maybe I was being overly generous, maybe I just have exceptional taste? Anyway, let me don my worn jacket with the leather elbow patches, settle back in my overstuffed leather armchair (that's an exaggeration - it's a perfectly stuffed chair from Next homewares), and regale you with this year's literary adventures. 


1. The Hot Beat by Robert Silverberg - Great Hard Case Crime novel about  a reporter trying to clear a down-on-his-luck musician who has been accused of murder. Also includes three cracking short tales by Silverberg that were first published in Crime magazines in the late 1950s and are worth the price of purchase alone: A

2. Triggerman – A Hard Case Crime graphic novel in which a gun for hire is sprung from prison and sets out to reunite with the love of his life, dishing out plenty of killings along the way. Beautifully illustrated and nicely written; a quick read, but a satisfying one: A

3. Bullet Train: The Art and Making of the Film by Abbie Bernstein - Gorgeous oversize art book exploring the making of the 2022 movie Bullet Train. Comprised of great concept art and insightful commentary by key production team members, this is a great read for fans of the film: A

4. Double Feature by Donald E. Westlake - Wonderful collection of two short Westlake novels; one a drama centred on a sailor who reconnects with his former wife, now a famous actress; the other a comedy about a film critic who finds himself going on a killing spree. The drama is great, but the comedy is genius – a hilarious tale that is worth the price of the book alone: A

5. Usagi Yojimbo Vol. I by Stan Sakai - First volume in a lush slipcased edition of two hardback books collecting the entire run of the famed samurai rabbit stories published by Fantagraphics Books. I’ve long wanted to read Usagi, and I was not disappointed. Beautifully illustrated and richly told tales: A

6. Usagi Yojimbo Vol. II by Stan Sakai - More of the same in the second volume of the above; Sakai has an innate skill in placing his character in exciting situations, whether they be small character driven tales or multipart epics. An absolute joy to explore these early years of the character’s run: A

7. Dust and Shadow by Lyndsay Faye – A Sherlock Holmes pastiche in which the famed detective and his biographer, Dr. John Watson, find themselves on the trail of Jack the Ripper. The idea is a phenomenal one, but I found this book a little lacking – the necessity to fit a plot line around the actual events of the Ripper killings felt a bit forced in places, and I sometimes found the style of writing a little florid. Add to that a conclusion that felt just somewhat rushed and convenient all led to me feeling just a little underwhelmed. This isn’t a bad book by any stretch of the imagination, I just think there’s a better Holmes vs the Ripper tale just waiting to be told: B-

8. Snatch by Gregory McDonald – A Hard Case Crime book collecting two novels by the creator of Fletch about boys who have been kidnapped. Both tales are entertaining with a sly sense of humour and plenty of twists and turns that held my attention. Thoroughly enjoyed this one: A

9. From Hell: The Master Edition by Alan Moore - Fantastic graphic novel posing a sinister theory of who Jack the Ripper was and why he committed his horrific crimes. I read this years ago in the original black and white version; this new edition features enhanced and tastefully coloured art by original artist Eddie Campbell, bringing a new dimension to this enthralling masterpiece: A

10. The Big Bundle by Max Allan Collins - The first Nathan Heller novel I’ve read, and definitely enjoyable enough that it won’t be the last. Here, private detective Heller is called upon to track down a missing ransom that was paid in an effort to have a kidnapped boy returned safely home. Although Heller is a fictional character, the kidnapping itself was a real event, helping to make this an even more fascinating read: A

11. Fools Die On Friday by Erle Stanley Gardner - Written by the creator of Perry Mason, this is the first book I’ve read in the Cool and Lam series, and it wasn’t what I expected: Funny, tightly written and moving at a rapid pace, this hugely entertaining novel – in which Donald Lam and Bertha Cool are tasked with preventing a poisoning – was an absolute joy from start to finish: A

12. Night Stalker by Donald Hamilton - A decent classic novel in which a man assumes a different identity after being drawn into a murder plot. Not my favourite Hard Case Crime novel, but it was entertaining enough: B

13. Borderline by Lawrence Block - Great novel in which three different plot lines based around characters located on the Mexico border weave in and around one another until reaching a striking conclusion. The book also features a selection of some of Block’s short stories, also highly entertaining: A

14. The Lake of the Dead by André Bjerke - A classic Scandinavian novel that hovers between horror and crime as a group of people try to learn who or what killed their friend in a remote woodland cabin: A

15. Dick Tracy Vol. 19 by Chester Gould - The last batch of stories from the late 1950s showcase more of Gould’s classic detective in action against an array of fantastical criminals: A

16. Mick Jagger by Philip Norman (Kindle) - A comprehensive biography of the iconic Rolling Stones frontman. It’s a good read, but I did feel rather that, without the actual cooperation of Jagger, this felt more like a decent bio of the Stones as a whole, rather than Mick himself. Good, but I think there’s a better Mick Jagger biography waiting to be written: B+

17. Double Down by Max Allan Collins - Two more Nolan stories by the master crime writer. This is probably my favourite of the Nolan collections published by Hard Case Crime. Two great stories, wonderfully written, and Nolan really starts to develop as a character: A

18. Tough Tender by Max Allan Collins - Books five and six of the Nolan series see the titular gentleman thief and his sidekick Jon take on a wily femme fatale. Two more great stories: A

19. Mad Money by Max Allan Collins - Books seven and eight, the culmination of the original Nolan run, are collected here and prove to be a fitting conclusion to Nolan and Jon’s adventures - pitting them once again against the violent Comfort family, who force them to take part in a plot to rob an entire shopping mall. Great fun: A

20. Skim Deep by Max Allan Collins - The first new Nolan novel in 30 years sees Nolan settling into married life, before being swiftly drawn back into his former life during his honeymoon in Las Vegas. A fitting end to the Nolan saga that feels like it was written straight after the original novels. Huge fun: A

21. Dick Tracy Vol. 20 by Chester Gould - Continuing the adventures of Gould's famed detective, this collection of newspaper strips from the early 1960s sees Tracy going up against a villain called Brush Spready, who wears a wig on his face to conceal his true identity. While not the most memorable of Tracy's rogues gallery, the tales themselves continue to entertain: A

22. The Last Stand by Mickey Spillane - The first Spillane book I’ve read features a tale from the earliest part of his career, and another that was completed by Max Allan Collins using notes left by the great writer after his death. Both are entertaining tales; perhaps not Spillane at this finest, but enjoyable enough: B+

23. Bust by Ken Bruen and Jason Starr - Businessman Max Fisher pays a hitman to off his wife so he can marry his mistress, but the job goes awry and Max’s life gets increasingly more complex when he’s implicated not only in the murder, but finds himself being blackmailed by a hitman in a wheelchair. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of this - part comedy, part serious, but it never seemed to quite gel for me: B

24. Slide by Ken Bruen and Jason Starr - The second Max Fisher novel sees the former businessman become a drug dealer – and increasingly unhinged – while his former accomplice Angela hooks up with a serial killer named Slide who wants to make his mark on history. Both Max and Angela become more interesting the more ridiculous they become, and as a result this novel was more enjoyable than the first: B+

25. The Max by Ken Bruen and Jason Starr - Book three of Max and Angela's misadventures sees the former incarcerated in a maximum security prison, from which he is plotting both how to run the joint and his escape, while his ex-girlfriend finds herself in a whole heap of trouble after committing murder on a Greek island. The saga of these two awful antiheroes continues, and their escapades descent into even more chaos in this very enjoyable read: B+ 

26. Pimp by Ken Bruen and Jason Starr - The final book of the series finds Max once again peddling drugs - this time a potent new narcotic called Pimp - while Angela is working her way up in Hollywood with plans to make a film of the first book, Bust. This novel brings everything full circle and provides a satisfying and hilarious conclusion for two of the most vile central characters I've ever encountered in a work of fiction: A

27. A Bloody Business by Dylan Struzen - A sprawling 638 page fictionalised account of the rise of organised crime in the United States during the 1920s and 30s, drawn from firsthand accounts. Not always an easy read - particularly when dealing with so many characters and so many incredible events (I often found myself pausing to google), but an incredible achievement that I'll continue to think about long after turning the final page: A-

28. The Saturday Night Ghost Club by Craig Davidson - A charming novel, set during the 1980s, in which a couple of kids form a club with one of their uncles to explore haunted locations in their hometown on Saturdays. A simple premise, but one that blossoms to tell a far deeper, more personal, and rather touching tale. I couldn't put this down and powered through it in just a day: A

29. Dick Tracy Vol. 21 by Chester Gould - I finish off my year's reading with another volume of the famed detective's adventures. I was eager to read this, as it's the first in the series to cover Tracy's infamous space adventures - yes, you read that right: there was a bonkers period in the 1960s where gangsters be damned, Dick Tracy went to the moon. It's not quite as jarring a creative handbrake turn as you might imagine, but nevertheless doesn't quite hit the giddy heights of Tracy at his Tommy gun-toting best: B+

So there you have it, 29 decent reads. I'm aiming higher in 2024, simply because I have eight more volumes of Dick Tracy to read, another eight books waiting on my bedside table, and have just placed an online order for two more that I've had my eye on for a while. FML, I just need to retire and read. Any-hoo, Happy New Year to you all, my single-digit devotees who still visit this dusty corner of the interwebs! Same time next year? Or maybe sometime in-between, if you're particularly (un)lucky…

Reading list 2022

 Another bloody 365 days gone – what the hellpiece?! To be fair, I'm still in some sort of weird time loop that comes from the Chrimbo limbo. Is it Thursday? Is it Saturday? Am I an actual human being or some sort of cybernetic construct!? Whatever I am, I read some more books this year. Now, I'm going to be honest: I did not best last year's 116 books. Why? Well I started a new job in the summer that meant I didn't get to spend 90% of my life sat on my arse with a paperback in my hand. I also ended up doing – ironically – a lot of book editorial work towards the end of the year that really crushed my reading mojo.

But! I did read 51, which is almost one a week, which ain't too shabby! So let me slip on my familiar worn tweed jacket with the leather elbow patches, recline into my sumptuous leather armchair beside a crackling log fire (spoiler alert – it's one of those three-hour looped CGI fireplaces on Netflix) and run you through this year's literary highs and lows. Normal rules apply: tip-top best reads get an A+, anything that made me yawn face the depths of a C (and I don't mean Covid) or *shudder* lower. So settle back and buckle up: LET'S DO THIS!

1. The Return of the Pharaoh by Nicholas Meyer - Famed screenwriter, director and novelist Meyer returns with another Sherlock Holmes pastiche, this time taking Holmes and Watson to Egypt where they must investigate the mystery of a missing duke. A wonderful read, beautifully and intelligently written; Meyer’s Holmes books have always been a delight, and this instalment is no different: A 

2. Forever and a Death by Donald E. Westlake - A previously unpublished novel based on the author’s unused idea for the 18th James Bond movie (what eventually became Tomorrow Never Dies) finds a powerful businessman seeking revenge against China by attempting to destroy Hong Kong. All the ingredients of a good Bond movie, but a terrific novel in its own right - huge fun: A 

3. Castle in the Air by Donald E. Westlake - Another of the acclaimed author’s comedy heist novels, this time focusing on a group of crooks, barely any of whom speak the same language, all of whom are trying to steal a castle. As mad as it sounds, with some beautifully snappy dialogue and hilarious set-pieces; I lost track of what was going on at various points, but it was a wonderful ride nonetheless: A 

4. Blackmailer by George Axelrod - A publisher finds himself entangled in a web of intrigue and lies after being offered the final book by a deceased bestselling author. A solid mystery with some surprising twists and turns along the way: A 

5. Lemons Never Lie by Richard Stark - A difficult to get hold of Hard Case Crime novel written by Donald E. Westlake under his Stark pseudonym. Having been determined to add it to my Hard Case collection, I eventually tracked down a copy - and it was well worth it. Focusing on a supporting character from the author’s Parker novels, this book sees Alan Grofield seeking revenge on a criminal who stole his profits from a previous heist and murdered one of his accomplices. A thrilling novel that never lets up: A 

6. The Lost World by Michael Crichton - A gorgeous Folio Society edition, and companion to the Jurassic Park volume I read last year. I read The Lost World when it was first published back in the 90s and recall being not terribly impressed by it; rereading it now, my opinion is vastly different. It’s a brilliantly told, intelligently plotted story, and the perfect follow-up to Crichton’s Jurassic Park blockbuster. Ignore the significantly different movie interpretation, this is an absolutely brilliant read, and Folio Society once again deserve kudos for the stunning design and packaging: A+ 

7. Parker: The Martini Edition by Darwyn Cooke - Deluxe oversized, slipcased edition of Cooke’s first two adaptations of Richard Stark’s (a pseudonym of author Donald E. Westlake) Parker novels. Stark’s acclaimed novels are really brought to life here – Cooke’s stunning artwork leaping off the oversized pages, giving Parker’s misadventures an eye-catching and dynamic new dimension; I’ve always been a fan of the late artist, but here his work goes further than ever before: beautiful, brutal, and effective, with limited colours only enhancing the storytelling. The addition of some fantastic bonus materials makes an already wonderful book even more appealing: A+ 

8. A Diet of Treacle by Lawrence Block - A young woman falls in with a man whose drug-dealing housemate ultimately leads them down a dangerous path, ending in murder. A quick read, and a slow-burner that soon becomes a page-turner: A 

9. Swashbucklers by Dan Hanks - Imagine a bit of Goonies, a little Ghostbusters, and a smattering of your other favourite 80s films but with the twist that the characters have all grown up to be in their 40s and you get an inkling of what author Hanks has come up with for his second novel (after the wonderful Captain Mosley and the Embers of the Empire). A hugely enjoyable read: A 

10. Thieves Fall Out by Gore Vidal - An American man finds himself involved in a plot to smuggle a valuable necklace out of Egypt as the country finds itself on the edge of a revolution. While not a complex thriller, this is a decent page-turner that kept me entertained from start to finish: A 

11. Krull by Alan Dean Foster - Novelisation of the 1983 fantasy film. I don’t remember the movie terribly well, but this adaptation felt very by the numbers. Easy to read, but the events of the movie failed to spring to life from the page as a really good novelisation can and should do: B 

12. Call Me a Cab by Donald E. Westlake - The first publication of this ‘lost’ book from the acclaimed crime writer, in which a New York cab driver picks up a woman who asks him to drive her across the U.S. to Los Angeles while she ponders whether or not to marry her boyfriend. A simple concept is turned into a riveting read in the hands of Westlake, who crafts two likeable main characters in the form of cab driver Tom and his fare, Katherine, and a series of incidents that keep their cross-country road trip exciting. Beautifully written, touching and with wry sense of humour about it, Call Me a Cab is a book that will stay with me for a long time; I loved every page: A+ 

13. Memory by Donald E. Westlake - Actor Paul Cole is the victim of a vicious attack that leaves his memory clouded and him haunted by fear that he will never be the man he once was. A strong, melancholy tale from Westlake; Cole is an interesting character, and we learn little of the man he was before the attack, but are left rooting for the man he has become after it. I was surprised by the sudden ending, but in the context of a story such as this it worked very well: A 

14. Gremlins by George Gipe - Novelisation of the 1984 movie, and an effective read in its own right. There are some decent additional story points added to this prose version - including the fact that the Mogwai are of extraterrestrial orgin! - and it’s an easy, enjoyable read: B+ 

15. Web of the City by Harlan Ellison - A brutal tale of a young former gang member seeking revenge against the man responsible for the death of his sister. A solid tale, backed up by three of the author’s similarly themed short stories, but not for the faint of heart; possibly the darkest Hard Case Crime book I’ve read to date: B 

16. Familiar Spirit by Lisa Tuttle - Another title in Valancourt Books' Paperbacks from Hell series, Familiar Spirit tells the story of a young woman who moves into a large house only to find something sinister lurking within its walls. A decent enough read, but not one of my favourite books in this series: B- 

17. Easy Go by Michael Crichton, writing as John Lange – Oddly, the third book I’ve read this year set in Egypt! Written in the 1960s under the pen name Lange, Crichton’s tale of a group of tomb-raiders looking to loot a previously undiscovered Pharaoh’s final resting place is a hugely enjoyable page-turner. Thoroughly good fun: A 

18. Drug of Choice by Michael Crichton, writing as John Lange - In this Lange novel, a doctor finds evidence of new drug being used by a secretive corporation, and his investigation draws him into their inner circle. An intriguing premise (the notion of a secret island where experiments are conducted on unwitting tourists is particularly evocative of the author’s later Jurassic Park novels) and for the most part this is a good read, but I felt the ending was a little rushed and unsatisfying: A- 

19. Binary by Michael Crichton writing as John Lange - Government agent John Graves finds himself with just hours to prevent a madman from unleashing a cloud of deadly gas across San Diego. A taut, rollercoaster of a thriller with plenty of twists and turns – probably my favourite of these three John Lange novels: A 

20. Money Shot by Christa Faust - Former porn star Angel Dare finds herself on the road to revenge after being brutally attacked and left for dead. In Dare, author Faust has crafted a beautifully well-rounded character, helping to make what could’ve been a standard revenge thriller into a thoroughly enjoyable page-turner of a novel: A 

21. Easy Death by Daniel Boyd - What should’ve been a straightforward money van heist on a cold winter’s evening goes awry, resulting in a furious chase through snow-packed parkland to find those responsible. A great read, packed with more twists and turns than I was expecting: A- 

22. the Valancourt Book of World Horror Stories Vol. 2 - A second collection of short, under-represented horror fiction from around the globe in a gorgeous limited edition hardback (also available as a paperback and e-book). As with the first volume from a few years back, all the tales included here are entertaining, but there are some real standouts too. A great read: A 

23. Star Trek: Year Five - Experienced in Loss - The Year Five comic book series comes to an end with this final collected edition of stories. It’s a decent read, wrapping up the over-arcing storyline well, and leaving all the characters in an appropriate place for their subsequent adventure in Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but I was left a little underwhelmed by it; the collection is saved, however, by a cracking Valentines story spanning several years of Captain Kirk’s life: B+  

24. Gun Honey - The first graphic novel I’ve read from Hard Case Crime, and it’s a lot of fun. Following the exploits of a young woman seeking revenge for the death of her family years earlier, the story moves along at a decent pace and the artwork is stunning. It’s a slight read, but one I enjoyed: A 

25. A Likely Story by Donald E. Westlake - After reading a review of another Westlake book that mentioned this comedy novel, I had to track down a copy, ultimately finding a signed, limited edition slip-cased copy still in its shrink-wrap from 1984! Unlike over Westlake novels I’ve read, this is pure comedy, in which author Tom Diskant works hard to put together a book all about Christmas, while plagued by the machinations of the publishing industry and the complications of his overly complex personal life. Full of laugh out loud moments, A Likely Story has shades of Youth in Revolt, another book I adore; criminally out of print now, this is another Westlake stroke of genius, and swiftly earns itself a place as one of my favourite books ever: A+ 

26. Choke Hold by Christa Faust - This follow-up to the author’s hugely enjoyable Money Shot picks up the story of Angel Dare, still in hiding from the previous book’s villains, as she becomes embroiled in a plot involving an old lover’s son and some missing drugs. While Choke Hold doesn’t quite reach the heights of its predecessor, it’s still a thoroughly decent novel, and Angel Dare remains a beguiling character: A 

27. Little Girl Lost by Richard Aleas - A very effective Hard Case Crime novel in which private investigator John Burke tries to find out who killed his high school sweetheart on a New York rooftop. Intricately plotted with numerous twists and turns and a very satisfying conclusion. A very enjoyable read: A 

28. The Secret Lives of Married Women by Elissa Wald - A tale of two sisters, split equally between them and revealing vastly different life experiences. A Hard Case Crime book with little crime, but a good read nonetheless: B+ 

29. Dick Tracy Vol. 18 by Chester Gould – After almost a year since I last read a volume of The Complete Dick Tracy, it was a real joy to get back to the adventures of Gould’s legendary detective. In this volume Tracy goes up against two notable villains, Miss Egghead and Headache, in two engaging continuities: A 

30. Songs of Innocence by Richard Aleas - Follow-up to the earlier novel Little Girl Lost, with the character of former private investigator John Blake returning. Now working at a college, Blake finds himself returning to his investigative roots to solve the mystery of the death of his lover. Plenty of twists and turns, and shades darker than it’s predecessor, this is an effective read with that rarest of things - an unhappy ending. Brilliant: A 

31. Frank Lee: After Alcatraz - A Hard Case Crime graphic novel that explores what could have happened to Frank Lee Miller, one of three prisoners who fled Alcatraz in the early 1960s. Exquisitely illustrated and richly told, this was a sublime read: A 

32. The Confession by Dominic Stansberry - Hard Case Crime novel in which a man is accused of killing the woman he’s been having an affair with… but did he actually do it? Not my favourite Hard Case Crime novel, but it does have a few twists and turns and a stellar ending: B+ 

33. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Last Ronin - Fantastic graphic novel collected edition of the comics miniseries that tells the final Ninja Turtles story. It feels very much like a Turtles equivalent of Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns; perfectly illustrated and brilliantly told, it makes me want to read more Ninja Turtles books: A 

34. Parker: The Martini Edition - Last Call by Darwyn Cooke - Oversized, slipcased companion to the earlier Parker collection, bringing together the final Richard Stark tales illustrated by Cooke before his untimely passing. Beautifully drawn and expertly adapted from their source novels, this is a truly spectacular book, enhanced by a mass of bonus material and sketches: A+ 

35. The Next Time I Die by Jason Starr - After being stabbed to death, lawyer Steven Blitz inexplicably awakens to find himself living another version of his life. A solid read - Blitz’s resurrection is never explained and for a while I wondered whether the book was coasting along on a good premise, but it all builds to a strong conclusion that makes the journey worthwhile: B+ 

36. The Hunter by Richard Stark - Hardcover edition of the first Parker novel, written by Donald E. Westlake under his Stark pseudonym, with painted illustrations by Darwyn Cooke. Intended to be the first in a complete hardcover collection of the Parker novels, this series was ultimately cut short by Cooke’s untimely death with only this sole volume published; a tragedy, as this is a terrific read and a beautifully packaged edition: A 

37. Captain Future: The Horror at Jupiter by Allan Steele (Kindle) - Fourth and final book in steele's rebooted Captain Future series sees our hero and his friends finally confront Ul Quorn, the villain who is threatening to use an alien super weapon to destroy the Earth. Suffers a little initially from having to remind readers about what has taken place in the previous three books, but the pace swiftly picks up and this ultimately proves to be a rousing conclusion to the series: A- 

38. The Comedy is Finished by Donald E. Westlake - When comedian Koo Davis is kidnapped from the set of his television show, police must race to track him down before his kidnappers threaten to kill him. Another brilliant Westlake story published after the author’s death, with enough twists and turns to keep the reader engaged: A 

39. The Galaxy and the Ground Within by Becky Chambers - The fourth and final book in Chamber’s Wayfarer series sees a group of alien individuals trapped together on a planet surface. A charming read, and a suitable conclusion to the series; this is no life-threatening science-fiction epic, but rather a delightful story of disparate characters thrown together and how they deal with one another: A 

40. The Man with the Getaway Face by Richard Stark - The second Parker novel finds the professional robber with a new appearance following the events of the previous book, and plotting an armoured truck heist to rebuild his failing finances. A wonderful read - expertly plotted, engaging, and easy to read; I enjoyed this even more than The Hunter: A 

41. Bullet Train by Kotaro Isaka - The novel on which my favourite film of the year is based. Less comedic and action driven than its big screen adaptation, subtly different in places, and with a significantly different ending, this is still a riveting read about five hired killers on a high speed train thundering across Japan: A 

42. Swedish Cults by Anders Fager - A collection of Lovecraftian horror from a famed Swedish writer. There's a lot to enjoy here, with some truly inventive and enjoyable tales within; well worth a read, and Valancourt Books have created a handsome first translated edition: B+ 

43. The Valley of Fear by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - A Hard Case Crime edition of one of Doyle's famed Sherlock Holmes novels, in which the great detective is charged with investigating a brutal murder at a country estate. A gripping tale, even if HoImes and Watson are absent for the second half of the book, which instead takes the form of an extended flashback: A- 

44. Batman ’89 - Graphic novel collection of the comic book series that returns us to the Gotham City of Tim Burton's big screen movies. Decent artwork, and a strong story that reveals how the Billy Dee Williams version of Harvey Dent from the first movie transforms into his alter ego Two Face, as well as introducing the Robin character that was to appear in the theoretical third film. A Decent read, particularly if you have an affinity for the Burton Batman films: B+

45. Charlie’s Good Tonight by Paul Sexton - Well-written, comprehensively researched biography of the late, great Rolling Stones drummer. A real insight into the life of Charlie Watts, and the important role he played in the world's greatest rock 'n roll band: A

46. Carnosaur by Harry Adam Knight - A fascinating, long forgotten novel that predates Michael Crichton's Jurassic Park novel, yet tells an eerily similar story, albeit one transplanted to the English countryside. A really fun, quick read; the story rolls along at a decent pace, with a building sense of tension and mystery before the dinosaurs are unleashed: A

47. The Valancourt Book of Victorian Christmas Ghost Stories edited by Tara Moore - A decent collection of traditional haunting tales: B+

48. Trek the Halls by Robb Pearlman - A short Christmassy picture book for little ones. It's fun, but I wish the rhyming text was a little more engaging; gorgeous artwork, though, and it spans the full breadth of Star Trek series: B+

49. Breakfast at Tiffany’s by Truman Capote - I've been meaning to read this for a long time now, and this gorgeous little clothbound Penguin classic was the perfect edition to crack open. Darker than the famous film which it inspired, short and easy to read, this tale of the story of the enigmatic Holly Golightly is a rare gem. Why it took me so long to read I don't know; that I eventually got around to it pleases me greatly: A

50. Star Trek: First Contact - The Making of the Classic Film by Joe Fordham - A lush coffee table book that goes in-depth on the making of the eighth Star Trek motion picture. There's little here that hardcore fans won't already know, but seeing production artwork reproduced large-scale on glossy pages is always a treat, and aside from a handful of easy to spot factual errors, the text is informative and easy to read: A-

51. The House on the Brink by John Gordon - A long out of print teenage horror, revived by Valancourt Books, in which a teenage boy finds himself caught up in a supernatural mystery involving a long-dead king's crown jewels. A fun read: B+

So there we have it. Not a bad selection this year, and I know next year will be every bit as good – mainly because 18 books are sat on my shelf waiting to be read. Not only that, but there's still a load of those Dick Tracy collections I've been ignoring (eek, I said the same thing at this point last year!) – need to rattle through those! Anyway, onwards, into a New Year. May it be a happy, healthy and prosperous one for you all! 

Let’s get physical

 Can you believe it’s been almost two years since the doom plague struck? So much for the ‘Roaring Twenties’ we all promised ourselves - it’s been more like the ‘Snoring Twenties’ with the amount of napping I’ve done over the last twenty-four months. It’s almost like I was trying to hibernate through the apocalypse.

That said, I think I’m going to end up as one of those smug, annoying people who, when this whole pandemic-thing is finally over, emerge from their cocoon of agoraphobia and self isolating even when they didn’t actually need to self isolate as a slightly better version of themselves.

And no, don’t think I’m one of *those* people who wrote sixteen novels, founded a charity and started a family during lockdown - I’m not that productive, though I did write a novel - rather, I actually started focusing on getting a bit fitter. Or hench, as I believe the kids say.

I’ll be honest, I spent the first three months of the first lockdown on the sofa with my feet up reading books (which is why my reading lists over the last two years have been insane), but then I got to the point where I looked at myself in the mirror one day and I didn’t approve of the extra chin or the spare tyre (it wasn’t quite that bad, dear reader; this is more of an artistic flourish to set the tone). Let’s not forget I was a chubby kid, and the spectre of that rotund little blonde boy from the 1980s haunts me to this day. So I set about doing something about it.

Obviously being a Bikram yoga teacher my first recourse was, well, yoga. And during the balmy summer months I thoroughly enjoyed a bit of back garden yoga in the sunshine. Plus, in tiny yoga shorts I ended up with a pretty delicious tan. In August of 2020, almost exactly eleven years since I did my first thirty day yoga challenge, I started another one. Thirty days of hot yoga - well, lukewarm yoga, given I couldn’t get the underfloor heating in the living room up to forty degrees. It was a lot of fun, and a little more challenging given I was teaching myself and the inclination is always to zip through the postures I don’t like. But I didn’t, and I did it. Gold star to me and a pat on the bum.

The thing with hot yoga in a not-hot environment is that I found I was focusing on, and building, strength more than flexibility, so at the end of my thirty day challenge I thought fuck it, let’s just try to get buff. I dug out the weights I’d bought when I moved into the first Sparky Towers back in 2006. Back then the intention was to do a weights session every evening and get, well, buff, but the reality was that I used them infrequently and basically left them unloved in the bottom of the wardrobe. But no more! Now they were back in action as I furiously pumped, if not iron, well, certainly tin.

But then I realised I needed to do more, driven slightly by all the fitness stuff on my Apple Watch, which was gently encouraging me to ‘close my rings’ (move, exercise and stand). The move ring was pretty easy to close as I could manually set it at a pretty low number and feel smug when I achieved it; stand was easy too as, y’know, I can stand. But exercise was proving a little trickier.

So I bought a rowing machine.

Back in the dim-distant past when I used to go to a gym, the rowing machine was about the only cardio thing I actually a) liked, and b) saw any benefit from. So I did a little research (basically found the cheapest one) and treated myself. 

I’ll be honest, the first few months I barely used it. It was like a once-a-week-thing. I’d sit on it, get some music blasting, and row for what seemed like an eternity only to find I’d managed a pitiful kilometre and my Apple Watch would say something like ‘well done Tim, you’re so close to closing your exercise ring’ when in fact the only thing I was close to was passing out. But then in January 2021 I went hell for leather. Suddenly I was rowing six kilometres each session, sometimes more. I added long walking workouts to my regime and the weights sessions started feeling … easier? I was building arms like tennis balls in a sports sock and abs like Jesus. 

Then the rowing machine control panel broke. That was annoying, but I got a replacement and somehow using my basic understanding of how to read instructions, managed to install it myself without losing a finger. 

Despite barely rowing in December due to work and the sheer mountain of sugary goodness Sparky Ma threw at me over Christmas, I ended the year feeling fitter and healthier than I have done in a long time. And my Apple Watch stats are bonkers compared to what they were just a little over a year ago.

Look at all those closed rings.

I’ve started 2022 with a renewed focus on fitness. Unfortunately, just eight minutes into a row yesterday morning there was a comical ‘boing’ sound and the rowing machine handles went slack. A swift email to the manufacturer revealed that the ‘coil’ has gone, probably as a result of wear and tear, but possibly because I’m now A MACHINE and my vigorous health regime is to blame. Funny, I thought a coil was something else, but apparently not. Anyway, I’ve got one coming and I’ve got to take the bloody thing apart to install it myself in the next few days. There will be swearing.  

Slack bitch.

In the meantime, I’m left wondering what I can do to keep my momentum going. Weights, obviously. Walking, for sure. Oh, and then a lovely yoga teacher friend asked me last night if I’d ever practiced my own class. Don’t be silly, I replied, I hate the sound of my own voice (surprising, eh?); but she insisted, saying I teach a good one, and sent me a link to a recording of an online class I taught. So, weirdly, I might have a bash at teaching myself.

And then this morning I got an email from Apple offering me a free month of Apple Fitness+. It’s almost like they knew… Anyway, I’ve always fancied trying one of their on-demand dance classes, so maybe now’s the time to turn up the music and throw it down to some phat beats.

 The things I do for cheekbones, arms and abs…

Bringing specsy back

Four years ago - so definitely somewhere in the wilderness years of this blog where all you got was annual book updates - I started getting stingy eyes and headaches. I was spending lots of time at my computer working (not writing my blog, obviously) and I came to the realisation that I should probably have my eyes tested. 

The upshot of it was that I ended up getting Sparky’s First Pair of Glasses. Well, strictly speaking it was Sparky’s First Two Pairs of Glasses, because it was on a buy one pair get another free deal. The glasses I got were black framed, kinda like Ray-Bans sorta thing, and no you’re not getting a picture of me wearing them. That’s what Instagram is for. Weirdly, my prescription was so slight that the optician, or optometrist or whatever they call themselves these days (eye wizard?!), said if my right eye was out the same minuscule amount as my left they would’ve just turned me around, patted me on the bum and gently scooted me out the door without even bothering to give me glasses. Or maybe they would’ve given me frames without any lenses?

“Do I need to wear them all the time?” I asked excitedly, anticipating an uptick in both my sexiness and assumed intelligence levels.

“No!” Shrieked the eye wizard. “Just when you’re using your computer.”

Anyway, two years ago, just after Christmas and before the doom plague ruined all our lives, I started getting stingy eyes again. By now living in Cardiff, I went to another eye wizard here and got my eyes tested again (once more being subjected to the insufferable puff of air in the eyeballs from that infernal device that does who knows what) only to be told that I didn’t actually need any new glasses and the stinging in my eyes was probably just, y’know, Cardiff weather.

“But I wanted new frames,” I whined.

“You can have some new frames,” said the eye wizard, this time with a gentle Welsh lilt to their voice, “but they’ll cost you.”

Glancing briefly at the frames I liked and wincing at the price sticker (turns out I could see that no problem) I decided I didn’t need new frames, turned myself around, patted myself on the bum and scooted out the door.

Let’s fast forward to the present day and my latest visit to the eye wizard today. Strutting in the door all cocky like, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t need new glasses this time around. Seven puffs of air from the infernal device (I blinked once in anticipation, dammit) and a faultless reading of the eye test chart later, I’m told that actually, yes, I do need new ones. That was a surprise. But, cost aside, one I’m not altogether unhappy about. I like my current glasses, but I’m also a fickle follower of fashion and I want this season’s sharpest new look. 

The eye wizard subsequently led me downstairs to Melissa, who would help me find the perfect new frames for my cheeky little face. Sadly for Melissa, she was kinda redundant, because I’d already looked online and found the ones I liked; all she had to do was locate them on the rack.

So the ones I’m going for are slightly rounded frames. To be honest, I considered something similar four years ago as my free second pair, but the moment I put them on the woman helping me choose them looked at me, tilted her head and said “awww, you look like Harry Potter.” Reader, I HURLED them back onto the rack.

Four years later, Melissa did not say I looked like Harry Potter. All Melissa contributed came when I asked her what the difference was between the pair I’d already chosen and another pair that was similar.

“One has a blue bit on the arms, and the other has a red bit.” Thank you Melissa.

So, £175 lighter, this time next week I’ll have new glasses. As an aside, my car (affectionately known as The Bug - yes, I bought a new motor during blog downtime back in 2017) was in for an MOT today. It sailed through, which just goes to show that I’m falling apart quicker than a car with 37,000 miles on the clock.

Anyway, just before leaving, I asked the inevitable, with a hopeful tone in my voice:

“Do I have to wear these all the time?”

“No,” said the eye wizard. “Just when you’re working at the computer. Or looking at your phone for extended periods” - dammit she knows me too well - “Oh, and when you’re reading. To be honest, you’re prescription is a bit stronger than you’re used to so I’d actually suggest you don’t try standing up or walking while you’re wearing them as you won’t be used to it.”

So there we have it: a week today I’ll look significantly sexier and more intelligent while working or reading, but the facade will drop spectacularly if I try to move.

Story of my life, huh?

Reading list 2021

It's that time of year when, once again, I marvel at the fact that it's that time of year again. Honestly, I've been hurled around the sun enough times by now that you'd imagine I'd know how this thing called life works by now, but no, apparently not. So let's do some mock outrage – HOLY FUCK IT'S THE END OF THE YEAR! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! – and get on with things.

As has by now become familiar to long-time readers, I've barely touched this blog over the last 12 months (honestly, I got huge anxiety that my password wouldn't even work when I logged on to write this), although I did manage a post about a Bichon Frisé back in May. The rest of the time I spent walking (I found a nice 12 mile route around Cardiff), yoga-ing (teaching and doing), working on books and, of course, reading books (if I hadn't, this would be a very slight post). And when we say 'reading books', lordy, I read a lot this year. Hold tight to those socks, because I'm about to try to blow them off: 116 books. Yes, you read that right: ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN. It's almost like I had nothing else to do. 

I'll be honest, the reason for ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN books, as you'll see during what amounts to the first few months of the year in the list (i.e. the bit before your eyes glaze over and you're rendered inexplicably unconscious), is dominated by graphic novels; specifically, Adventure Time graphic novels. I blitzed my way through the television series in the last few months of 2020, and was left bereft by its conclusion, so I sought solace in the arms of the books collecting its long run of comic books. Plus Forbidden Planet had a ridiculous sale on some of them – how could I resist a hardback book discounted to £1.99?! Things evened out a bit as the year went on and I returned to reading grown-up books (Hard Case Crime novels in particular became a surprise joy for me), then petered out a bit towards the end of the year when I was asked to do a shit-ton of work on, you guessed it, some books, which took up a lot of my time. If it weren't for the pesky need to pay bills and whatnot I reckon I could've rattled through a few more and made it a nice round 120, but it was not meant to be. That said, if we count the books I worked on we could add another … five?

I digress. Let's stick with 116 (ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN) and not get picky. This is certainly the most books I've ever read in a year (remember the early days of this list where I'd pat myself on the back for having read 34? Madness), so I'm going to award myself a little trophy, possibly a glass of Sherry, and undoubtedly a slab of lemon drizzle cake.

As usual, I'm slipping on my worn tweed jacket with the leather elbow patches (it's a little more snug around the shoulders these days, thank you home workouts) and settling my peachy posterior into my overstuffed armchair (thank you again, home workouts) ready to judge each book. We'll be following the familiar grading pattern, from A+ (I want to big spoon this book on a cold winter's night) to C and below (fork off, you're hogging the duvet). And no, I won't be providing links to each book: there are ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN and I ain't got no time to be cuttin' and pastin' for you lazy fools. 

Right. Strap in, bitches – HERE WE GO! 

01. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 1 - Having loved the TV show, I decided to give the Adventure Time comics a go, choosing the hardcover mathematical editions rather than the standard paperback collections. The first volume features a story about the evil Lich trying to take over Ooo, and Finn and Jake’s efforts to stop him. Nicely illustrated and a decent if slight story; worth a read if you’re a fan of the show though, and the mathematical edition is a gorgeous book: B+ 

02. Enemy Mine by Barry B. Longyear and David Gerrold - The novelisation of the 1985 science fiction film about a human pilot finding himself stranded on a desolate planet with only his enemy - a Drac - as a companion. An enjoyable, easy read that makes me want to rewatch the film: B+ 

03. Adventure Time: The Original Cartoon Title Cards - A wonderful art book showcasing the title cards featured at the beginning of each episode of the Adventure Time television series. Though featuring brief reminiscences from the artists involved, the book is light on information; examples of earlier abandoned concepts would’ve been a nice addition, for example. The finished artwork is nevertheless gorgeous, and this makes a fine addition to the bookshelf of any fans of the show: A 

04. Adventure Time: The Original Cartoon Title Cards, Seasons Three and Four - The second volume of episodic title cards is more of the same; gorgeous artwork, but perhaps lacking in background information about their creation that would truly make it a standout book. Nevertheless, as with the first volume: A 

05. Adventure Time: The Flip Side - A collected edition of a comics miniseries in which Finn and Jake take on a quest that causes things to be flipped in the land of Ooo. A fun read, with some interesting art that deviates from the usual Adventure Time style. Good, but not essential: B 

06. Adventure Time: Sugary Shorts Volume One - A great collection of short Adventure Time stories written and illustrated by an eclectic group of comic creators. Quality is high overall, and there are some standout tales, including one by Paul Pope. Thoroughly enjoyable: A 

07. The Twilight Zone edited by Carol Serling - A superb anthology of nineteen short stories published to coincide with The Twilight Zone’s 50th anniversary in 2009. Great fun, with some inventive twists and turns: A 

08. Adventure Time: Sugary Shorts Volume Two - A second collection of short adventures featuring Finn, Jake and the other inhabitants of Ooo. There are some great stories here, and some gorgeous artwork: A 

09. Adventure Time: Candy Capers - Collected edition of a six issue miniseries in which Finn and Jake go missing and it’s down to Peppermint Butler and Cinnamon Bun to track them down, while at the same time keeping the Candy Kingdom safe. A good story and some lovely artwork, only the rushed conclusion revealing where Finn and Jake really are lets this down: A- 

10. Adventure Time: Marceline and the Scream Queens - Collected edition of a six issue miniseries that focuses on the vampire Marceline going on tour with her band, accompanied by Princess Bubblegum. Enjoyable enough, but there’s no acknowledgement of the relationship between Marceline and PB shown on the TV show (possibly because this was written before that development) and there feels few ties to the characters we know and love from Adventure Time: B 

11. Adventure Time with Fionna and Cake - A collected miniseries featuring the gender-swapped characters Fionna and Cake, rather than Finn and Jake. Written and illustrated by the actual creator of the two characters, this is a fun addition to my Adventure Time collection: A 

12. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 2 - A second hardcover collection of Adventure Time comics, and a thoroughly enjoyable tale of Finn and Jake dabbling in time travel: A- 

13. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 3 - The third volume of Adventure Time comics finds BMO corrupted by a computer virus, leaving Finn, Jake and Marceline to go up against a new foe. A good, fun Adventure Time tale: B+ 

14. The Valancourt Book of World Horror Stories Vol. 1 - A beautifully packaged limited edition hardcover (mine’s 78/300) collecting horror stories from around the world. With many of the authors included never having been translated into English before, this is a treasure trove of new voices, each with a wonderful spooky tale to tell. Unlimited paperback and ebook versions are available, and highly recommended: A 

15. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 4 - Opening with a single issue story that didn’t grab me, expectations were low for this fourth volume of Adventure Time comics. But the next four issues’ worth told a brilliant tale of Finn, Jake and Ice King exploring a dungeon that presents each with a unique challenge: A- 

16. Paul at Home by Michel Rabagliati - The eighth story in Rabagliati’s Paul series finds the titular character in middle age, living alone and facing the death of his mother. A melancholy tale for sure, but one that is beautifully written and gorgeously illustrated by one of my very favourite graphic novelists. Each one of Rabagliati’s books is a treat to behold and this latest volume is no different: A+ 

17. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 5 - Another fun collection, this time featuring a story in which one of Princess Bubblegum’s early gum creations comes back to haunt her: B+ 

18. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 6 - This volume features the 25th issue of the comic - a great little tale told across different time periods - and a longer story of Finn and Jake turning into ghosts, which was enjoyable enough but not one of the finer stories the series has produced: B+ 

19. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 7 - Another fine hardcover edition featuring a story in which Finn loses huge chunks of memory after an encounter with a new enemy: B+ 

20. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 8 - Opening with the final story by the comic’s original creators, followed by a four-parter by the new team that sees all the people of Ooo falling foul of a curse that causes them to forget how to cook. It’s a decent enough start for the new writer and artists, but falls a little below the high bar set by the original team: B 

21. Adventure Time Mathematical Edition Vol. 9 - The ninth hardcover edition of Adventure time comics features a story in which Finn and Jake become spies. A decent read, but still lacking some of the series’ earlier charms: B 

22. Adventure Time Vol. 10 - After reading the hardcover mathematical editions, this is the first paperback collection of Adventure Time stories I’ve read (the hardcovers stopped at vol. 9), and it’s a cracker! A really good story of Finn and Jake finding they had a sister, but one who has to wipe herself from their memories to save Ooo from disaster: A 

23. Adventure Time Vol. 11 - In which Finn is made to grow old and Jake must venture into a ghost world to reclaim the essence of his youth. Solid story, nicely drawn: B+ 

24. Adventure Time Vol. 12 - A fun four-part story in which the heroes of Ooo find themselves trapped in a realistic game created by an evil force that has taken over BMO. Good story, although I found the art a little too cartoonish compared to previous volumes and the TV series: B+ 

25. Stargate by Dean Devlin and Roland Emmerich - Novelisation of the hit film from 1994, in which an ancient gateway provides a team of humans with the ability to travel to a distant alien world. Written by the writers of the film, this novel adaptation adds greater depth and detail to the story, with alternate - and often more grisly and violent - takes on certain scenes. A cracking read then, with the only downside being the sheer number of typos and editorial mistakes littered throughout: A- 

26. Adventure Time: Islands - A short graphic novel prequel to the miniseries of the same name that follows a ship of humans to a new island home, written by one of the show’s writers. It’s a slight tale that I breezed through in minutes, but it’s fun and adds more layers to my favourite Adventure Time miniseries: B+ 

27. Adventure Time Vol. 13 - A thoroughly enjoyable volume that brings together several plot strands from previous books for a cataclysmic, time-bending conclusion. Good fun: A 

28. Adventure Time: Sugary Shorts Vol. 3 - A cracking collection of short tales written and illustrated by a variety of different comics creators. With so many different styles of illustration and interpretations of the familiar characters, this is a visual treat for Adventure Time fans: A 

29. Adventure Time Comics Vol. 1 - The first collected edition of the second Adventure Time comic series. In execution it’s basically the same as the Sugary Shorts collections, with short stories by various writers and artists; as such it’s also a lot of fun: A

30. Adventure Time Vol. 14 - After the conclusion of several ongoing plot threads in the previous volume, this collection is a four-part standalone story of the princesses of Ooo competing against one another to be crowned best princess. It’s fun enough, but one of the more simplistic stories told in this series: B

31. SeaQuest DSV: Fire Below by Matthew J. Costello - Catching up on one of my weird little obsessions from 2020’s lockdown, I return to the old SeaQuest DSV books I tracked down last summer. This second novel is the first original tale in the series (the first being a novelisation of the TV show’s pilot episode), and sees Captain Bridger and the crew of the SeaQuest involved in a terrorist attack that leads them to an underwater research station that has discovered a deadly new form of marine life. I was genuinely surprised to find that this was an effective action-thriller with lots of twists and turns that I devoured in just a few days… if only tales like this had been what the television series had shown: A

32. Adventure Time: Sugary Shorts Vol. 4 - The penultimate collection of short Adventure Time stories from different comics creators, and another treat. Some really good stories here, and some beautiful artwork: A 

33. Adventure Time Comics Vol. 2 - Another collection of short stories, all enjoyable enough but not quite as entertaining as those in the Sugary Shorts books: B+

34. Adventure Time Comics Vol. 3 - More Adventure Time short stories, and a more entertaining collection than the previous volume: A

35. SeaQuest DSV: The Ancient by David Bischoff - The third and final SeaQuest novel finds captain Bridger and his crew searching for a mysterious, millennia-old sea creature. This book is a bit of a mixed bag to be honest; a decent concept is never really given room to develop, ultimately turning into an oceanic version of Star Trek: The Motion Picture, while some caricature-ish villains and a slightly inappropriate attraction between 15 year old Lucas and a mid-twenties research scientist don’t help matters. Not bad, but not brilliant: B

36. Captain Future’s Challenge by Edmond Hamilton - The third of the original 1940s Captain Future books that I’ve read sees the titular space hero tasked with tracking down a villain intent on destroying the solar system’s supplies of a mineral necessary for space travel. The least compelling Captain Future adventure I’ve read, but still an enjoyable retro sci-fi read: B+

37. Adventure Time Comics Vol. 4 - A fantastic selection of short Adventure Time stories; one of the most consistently entertaining volumes I’ve read: A

38. Adventure Time Comics Vol. 5 - A great collection of stories, with some of the most stunning artwork so far in this collection: A

39. Adventure Time Comics Vol. 6 - The final collection in the Adventure Time Comics series, and a fine send off for the series. Great stories, varied artwork showing different interpretations of the characters, hugely enjoyable. Of all the Adventure time books I’ve read, these have been among my favourite: A

40. Adventure Time: Sugary Shorts Vol. 5 - The final volume of the Sugary Shorts series is a little more experimental, featuring for the most part more artistic, minimal, speechless tales. A fantastic longer Marceline story giving more detail of her past is included as well. Hugely enjoyable: A

41. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow by K. J. Anderson - A thoroughly enjoyable adaptation of the 2004 movie. Energetic and written in a decent pulp-adventure style, it makes me yearn for more Sky Captain adventures: A

42. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - Too Long a Sacrifice - Collected edition of the four issue comic book series in which Constable Odo is tasked with finding a murderer on DS9. It’s nice to revisit Deep Space Nine and it’s characters, but while this was a decent read competently illustrated, it didn’t fully draw me in: B

43. Alien: The Original Screenplay - A graphic novel based on the original storyline for the 1979 film Alien. Beautifully illustrated and very enjoyable, but for me there wasn’t enough difference between this and the final film version, unlike Dark Horse Comics’ earlier Alien 3 based on an unused screenplay. For completists only: B+

44. The Auctioneer by Joan Samson - Another title in Valancourt Books’ Paperbacks from Hell series is this story of an enigmatic auctioneer arriving in a small American town and swiftly using his skills to rid the population of their possessions and livelihoods. Unlike previous books in the series, there’s no hint of the supernatural in this novel, just an unsettling sense of dread as the auctioneer starts spreading his influence across the town and its people. An absorbing tale: A

45. Adventure Time Vol. 15 - Another collection of the ongoing Adventure Time comics, this time featuring a balloon race to find three missing parts of a mysterious statue. Fun, but not the best book in the series: B

46. Adventure Time Vol. 16 - The penultimate collection of the ongoing series sees Finn and Jake facing off against duplicate versions of themselves. A nice idea, but spaced across four individual issues it feels a little drawn out and not very Adventure Time-y. One of the weaker instalments: B

47. Adventure Time Vol. 17 - The final collection of the Adventure Time ongoing comic book series features a story that closes the 75 issue run, plus a couple of back-up tales including the first issue of Adventure Time Season 11. The conclusion to the series is fun, closing the comic’s run in decent, if not amazing, fashion. While this might not be the best the series had to offer, overall I enjoyed these books a hell of a lot: B+

48. Close Encounters of the Third Kind by Steven Spielberg - Novelisation of the 1977 film, and to my knowledge the only novel written by Spielberg - which is a shame, as he writes a good book. The story doesn’t deviate far from what you see in the film, but Spielberg’s prose is engaging and easy to read - so much so I devoured this book in only a couple of days. Worth a read if you can track down a copy: A

49. Flash Gordon by Arthur Byron Cover - Novelisation of the 1980 movie in which the titular hero must defeat Ming the Merciless to save Earth from destruction. A surprisingly erotic and tongue-in-cheek interpretation of the film, and all the more enjoyable for it: B+

50. Tom Strong’s Terrific Tales Book 2 - Being a huge fan of Alan Moore’s Tom Strong character, it had somehow slipped by me that a second volume of short stories had been published almost 10 years ago. Fortunately, a hardback edition was not difficult to track down, thus completing my collection of Tom Strong books - and what a good read it is! Tom Strong has always been among my favourite comics characters, and the stories here - including tales of Jonni Future and young Tom Strong - are every bit as thrilling as I remember from years ago: A

51. The World of Moominvalley by Philip Ardagh - A wonderfully comprehensive hardback book that explores the rich characters and settings of Tove Jansson’s Moomin novels, along with background information about the life of Moomin creator Tove Jansson herself. A beautiful book, and one that I cannot recommend highly enough for Moomin fans: A+

52. The Society of Time by John Brunner - A British Library collection of five of Brunner’s novellas; three connected Society of Time stories and two separate tales. All are enjoyable, but it’s the two standalone novellas that intrigued me more. A decent collection overall: B+

53. Over the Garden Wall: Distillatoria written by Jonathan Case, illustrated by Jim Campbell - After enjoying the television series of the same name, I thought I’d try the graphic novels spin-offs. This first one sees Greg, Wirt and Beatrice seemingly out of the Unknown and back in the real world, but not everything is as it appears. A brilliant addition to the Over the Garden Wall canon, made even better by having a copy autographed by the writer: A

54. Over the Garden Wall: Circus Friends by Jonathan Case, illustrated by John Golden - A second Over the Garden Wall graphic novel, and another terrific read. Here, Wirt and Greg discover a circus in the Unknown whose master wants Beatrice to be part of his performance. A great story, and artwork that differs slightly from the previous book and the show itself, but is gorgeous and works brilliantly. Highly recommended: A

55. The Thing by Alan Dean Foster - Novelisation of the 1982 John Carpenter film in which a small team of Americans at an Antarctic research base find themselves confronted by an aggressive alien life form that has been freed from centuries frozen under the ice. At the time of reading I’d not seen the film, but Foster writes a strong novelisation that makes this an enjoyable read in its own right: B+

56. Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze by Kenneth Robeson - Having never read any of Robeson’s pulp hero tales, I quickly snapped up this edition from the All Data is Lost website when it appeared for sale. In this first tale, Doc Savage and his team of adventurers find themselves travelling to Central America on the trail of a deadly assassin. I really wanted to like this, but unlike other pulp heroes such as Captain Future, I didn’t engage with the characters and the plot felt slight. It’s fun, just not as fun as I’d hoped: B

57. Howard the Duck by Ellis Weiner - A surprisingly well-written and self aware novelisation of the much maligned 1986 film in which the titular duck is transported across space to the planet Earth, where he finds himself facing off against a Dark Overlord of the Universe. I’ve got rather a soft spot for the movie and the author translates the story well to prose with plenty of humour and verve. A surprisingly fun read: A

58. Hypnotwist/Scarlet by Starlight by Gilbert Hernandez - Two tales by Beto in his line of standalone stories outside of the usual Love and Rockets continuity. This book is unusual in that it’s a ‘flipper’ with effectively two front covers; Hypnotwist is the longer of the two and entirely free of dialogue, while Scarlet by Starlight is a shorter tale of explorers on an alien world. Both are fun, but perhaps only really essential for Love and Rockets completists : B+

59. The Black Hole by Alan Dean Foster - Novelisation of the 1979 Disney film about a ship of scientists discovering a long-missing Earth vessel on the edge of a powerful black hole. A good read that adds extra layers of detail absent from the film: B+

60. Doc Savage: Python Isle by Kenneth Robeson - A Doc Savage novel published in 1991 after being completed by Will Murrey using notes left by Robeson. In this adventure, Doc Savage and his team find themselves drawn into a mystery involving a woman that only speaks an archaic language and an island rich in gold. I enjoyed this more than the previous Doc Savage book I read; it’s more of a fast-paced pulp thriller, but truth be told, I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t really find Doc or his compatriots terribly interesting characters. Enjoyable, though: B+

61. Into the London Fog edited by Elizabeth Dearnley - An entertaining British Library collection of weird tales focusing on the city of London. As with most volumes in this series, the stories included here are of a consistent quality, especially ‘The Lodger’ which ranks as one of the first tales of Jack the Ripper and is genuinely unnerving; only the inclusion of some non-fiction essays didn’t appeal. On the whole, a good read: B+

62. Jurassic Park by Michael Crichton - I first read Crichton’s dinosaur thriller back in the early 90s before Steven Spielberg’s film came out, and thoroughly enjoyed it then. Revisiting almost 30 years later, I’m pleased to find the book remains an absolutely brilliant read. Engaging, action-packed, intelligent and populated by characters you genuinely care about, the novel is much darker and more complex than the blockbuster movie it inspired. Extra marks for this being a gorgeous Folio Society edition, featuring eye-catching artwork throughout the book, and a sturdy dinosaur skin-like slipcase to keep it in. A rare treat: A+

63. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back - From a Certain Point of View - Following on from the A New Hope anthology of a few years back, the second (or fifth, depending on how you look at it) Star Wars film gets a collection of short stories that tie into events seen in the movie. There are some decent stories here, but I did feel this collection was less enjoyable the previous and more of a slog to get through, especially when there’s connective strands that go beyond the film series and into the animated shows and wider literary universe that I’ve not explored. Decent enough, though: B

64. The Desolations of Devil’s Acre by Ransom Riggs - The sixth and (for now, at least) final book in the Miss Peregrine’s series finds Jacob and his peculiar friends battling Miss Peregrine’s brother Caul to protect the future of peculiar kind. An epic, rollicking adventure that takes readers from Devil’s Acre, the sanctuary of the peculiars, to the dark days of World War I, modern day London and Florida, with plenty of twists and turns along the way. I’ve enjoyed all the books in this series, and The Desolations of Devil’s Acre is a fitting conclusion: A

65. Inside Star Trek: The Real Story by Herbert F. Solow and Robert H. Justman - A comprehensive non-fiction book looking back on the original Star Trek series, as told by two of the most influential people involved in the production of the show. I always regretted not buying this when it was first published in the mid-1990s, so eagerly snapped up a copy for a mere fiver on eBay - and what a treat it turned out to be. Not just a comprehensive look back on Star Trek’s tumultuous early years, but a detailed insight into the complexities and craziness of television production in the sixties. Witty, emotional, and full of stories even I was not aware of, this is one of the very best non-fiction Star Trek books I’ve read, and one I’d recommend to all fans: A+

66. A Complicated Love Story Set in Space by Shaun David Hutchinson - A young adult novel about three teenagers who find themselves aboard a spaceship with no idea how they got there. An enjoyable and easy to read book, but I didn’t warm to the characters too well, and it takes a while to really get going before reaching a decent conclusion. Fun enough: B

67. Star Trek: Discovery - Die Standing by John Jackson Miller (Kindle) - The latest Discovery novel focuses on Emperor Georgiou, formerly of the Mirror Universe, and her first mission for Section 31. A decent read - Miller captures Michelle Yeoh’s performance well in his prose, and the addition of supporting characters Finnegan (from the original series) and Emony Dax (later to be DS9’s Jadzia) add a flourish of familiarity to proceedings without feeling forced. If I’m grumbling, it felt a little too long in places, but on the whole I enjoyed this: B+

68. Dick Tracy Vol. 15 by Chester Gould - After taking an eight month gap in reading Gould’s complete run of Tracy newspaper strips I pick up again at the halfway point in the collection. Enjoyable crime capers as always, but this volume doesn’t showcase the intrepid cop’s finest tales - 3-D Magee featured here isn’t the most compelling villain, and the storyline he features in runs over seven months worth of strips: B+

69. The Deep by Alma Katsu (Kindle) - Like the author’s previous novel, The Hunger, this book adds a supernatural twist to real life historical events, in this case the sinking of the Titanic and, four years later, its sister ship the Britannic - bridging these two catastrophes with characters present at both events. Though I could quibble that the ending seemed perhaps a tad rushed, this is both an inventive and engrossing story that I thoroughly enjoyed: B+

70. The Haunting of H.G. Wells by Robert Masello (Kindle) - Having read the author’s earlier book, The Jekyll Revelation, I jumped at the opportunity to download his latest when Amazon offered it for free on Kindle. This tale focuses on the author H.G. Wells being sent to the front line during the First World War, the ghosts that haunt him on his return, and a plot to unleash a gas attack on London. A hugely entertaining book that rattles along at a fair old pace: A

71. Dick Tracy Vol. 16 by Chester Gould - Following straight on from the previous volume, this collection of Dick Tracy newspaper strips sees the detective continuing his attempts to track down Rughead, before reintroducing the famed villain Mumbles and giving us our first glimpse of Flattop Jr. A great read with some wonderful rogues: A

72. Later by Stephen King - A new novel from the famed author of horror fiction shares a similar concept with the movie The Sixth Sense, but ultimately takes its own path, one that I found hugely satisfying. To say more would ruin for new readers what was, to me, one of the best books I’ve read to this point in 2021. Utterly brilliant: A+

73. In Cold Blood by Truman Capote - I’ve long meant to read Capote’s ‘non-fiction novel’ of the brutal killing of the Clutter family in 1959, and it more than lived up to expectations. A thorough, thought-provoking book that gives a well-rounded glimpse of the victims and ultimately the men who committed the killings, elevating all from mere descriptions to the living, breathing people they were. Chilling in places, emotional in others, and well-written throughout. An undisputed classic: A

74. Somebody Owes Me Money by Donald E. Westlake - A cracking Hard Case Crime book in which a New York cab driver finds himself caught up in the mystery of a bookie’s murder. I was initially drawn to this by the stunning cover art, but the story itself rattles along at a fair old pace, with a likeable main character and some decent humour along the way; I thoroughly enjoyed this book: A

75. Adventure Time: Ice King - A collected edition of the six-issue comic miniseries in which the Ice King finds his favourite penguin, Gunter, has gone missing, and sets out to track him down. There are some nice moments in this, but it felt overly long and I was disappointed by the artwork in places, which seemed like it wanted to try something new but didn’t commit and instead just looked hurried. Not an essential read: B-

76. The Art of Bravest Warriors - A lush, coffee table art book focused on Bravest Warriors, the other show created by Adventure Time’s Pendleton Ward. There’s little text in this oversized hardback, but plenty of gorgeous artwork, development sketches and concepts to feast your eyes on. A must-buy for fans of the show: A

77. Witness to Myself by Seymour Shubin - Fearing that he accidentally killed a young girl on a family holiday 15 years earlier, a man sets out to uncover the truth, only to expose himself further in the process. Another Hard Case Crime book, and another brilliant tale; I was gripped from start to finish: A

78. Charlesgate Confidential by Scott Von Doviak - Another Hard Case Crime novel, this one split across three time periods - 1946, 1986 and 2014 - and telling the tale (inspired by true events) of the theft of 13 paintings and their connection to the real life Charlesgate building in Boston. An absorbing read with plenty of twists and turns; I thoroughly enjoyed: A

79. 253 by Geoff Ryman - I first saw this book years ago and always meant to pick up a copy, finally doing so this year! It’s a rather unique novel, with each page dedicated to telling the story of the 253 passengers on a london tube train one January morning, all within the space of 253 words. And it’s utterly absorbing getting such insight into these fictional, yet seemingly all too real people. Brilliant: A

80. The Cutie by Donald E. Westlake - Another Hard Case Crime novel by the author of Somebody Owes Me Money. In this book, a mobster’s employee finds himself investigating the murder of a woman, a search that becomes more intense when he finds himself accused of the crime. More serious than the comedic Somebody Owes Me Money, and a thrilling read. Westlake’s prose is precise and easy to read, and the journey to the ultimate revelation of who killed Mavis St. John is an enjoyable and satisfying one: A

81. Adventure Time: Season 11 (Kindle) - Available a few years ago as a paperback collected edition but now out of print and difficult to find, I turned to Amazon to fulfil my desire to read this comic book continuation of Adventure Time. There, for the same price as a graphic novel, I got all six issues of this short-lived series, and was able to read them in vibrant form on my new iPad. The series itself is a lot of fun, picking up story threads after the series’ final episode, and it’s a real shame it was cancelled. Beautiful artwork and a degree more maturity to the stories, there was much that this comic series could have explored had it gone on longer: A

82. Star Trek Year Five: Weaker than Man - The third collection of the Year Five continuity sees Captain Kirk and the Starship Enterprise continuing their journey home as they near the end of their five year mission, encountering a secret Federation medical experiment, Harcourt Fenton Mudd and Gary Seven along the way. A solid read with decent artwork: B+

83. Spaceworlds edited by Mike Ashley - A British Library short story collection featuring stories of life in space. There are some good tales here - especially those about generation ships and the problems that can arise on them - and it’s an enjoyable enough read for the most part, but I didn’t really connect with this anthology as much as some of the previous books in the series: B+

84. Two For the Money by Max Allan Collins - A Hard Case Crime book collecting the author’s first two novels featuring the character Nolan. And it makes absolute sense to package these two books together seeing as how the second is a continuation of the events of the first, with Nolan engineering a bank heist to clear his name with a member of the mob who has a hit on him, and then having to deal with the fallout of the job when things go wrong. A great read from a master of the crime genre: A

85. Bravest Warriors Complete Comics Collection (Kindle) - OK, not strictly speaking a book, but I’m sneaking this on to my reading list on a technicality as most of these comics have been released as collected editions; I chose to read on my iPad via the Kindle app as the last four comics were never released as a book. This is the complete 36 issue run of the monthly comic book series based on the TV series created by Pendleton Ward, plus the Catbug, Paralysed Horse and Tales from the Holojohn specials. For the most part, I thoroughly enjoyed these - they strike the same tone as the show, and the handful of episodes written by the writers of the series really reach great heights. Very enjoyable: A

86. Captain Future: 1500 Light Years From Home by Allen Steele (Kindle) - The third instalment of Steele’s latest Captain Future adventure for Amazing Stories follows right on from the previous book, with Captain Future held captive and transported across the Galaxy to a distant star system. Although of course this volume relies on you having read the previous two instalments, this is a brilliantly written sci-fi that’s a lot of fun, and it ends on a great cliffhanger that will be resolved in the fourth and final book: A

87. Fifty-to-One by Charles Ardai - As the 50th Hard Case Crime book, this novel has an intriguing concept: each chapter is named after one of the preceding 49 books in the publisher’s catalogue. What could have been a mere exercise in box ticking actually proves to be a thrilling ride in the skilled hands of Ardai, as a young woman writes a crime novel that somehow predicts the theft of $3 million from a notorious crime lord, leading to her going on the run with the fictional Hard Case’s roguish editor. Hugely enjoyable: A 

88. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood by Quentin Tarantino - This novelisation of Tarantino’s most recent movie adds extra depth to the story of Western actor Rick Dalton and his stunt man Cliff Booth. Differing in places from the film (the movie’s conclusion occurs only 100 pages into the 400 page book), makes this not so much a straight novelisation, more a retelling from a slightly shifted perspective - and it’s all the more enjoyable for it. Tarantino’s prose is crisp and deliciously witty throughout, making this a very enjoyable read: A

89. Dick Tracy Vol. 17 by Chester Gould - This volume features the conclusion of the Flattop Jr. storyline, one of the best continuities, and the Morin Plenty story, regarded as one of Gould’s least interesting tales - but one that I actually rather enjoyed! Good fun, as always: A

90. The Nice Guys by Charles Ardai - Novelisation of the 2016 movie about two mismatched detectives trying to locate a missing girl, and uncovering a conspiracy in the process. A straightforward adaptation, but a hugely enjoyable and well-written one nonetheless: A 

91. Deadly Beloved by Max Allan Collins - The first - and so far only - novel based on the author’s Ms. Tree graphic novel character, and it’s a blast, as Ms. Tree becomes embroiled in helping a woman accused of murdering her unfaithful husband. One of the shorter Hard Case Crime books I’ve read, coming in just under 200 pages long, but a tightly plotted and entertaining one nevertheless: A

92. The Twenty Year Death by Ariel S. Winter - A remarkable book, told in the form of three 200-page novels, each written in the style of a different crime writer, which together tell a story spanning 20 years. A thoroughly engrossing read: A

93. Help I am Being Held Prisoner by Donald E. Westlake - After enjoying Somebody Owes Me Money, I thought I’d try another of Westlake’s crime comedies, and I wasn’t disappointed. This book tells the story of Harold Künt, sent to prison for a practical joke that results in a 20 car pile up, where he soon finds himself part of a gang planning to perform a bank robbery while they’re all still in jail. A hugely enjoyable read - intelligently plotted, funny and well-written: A

94. Adventure Time: Marcy and Simon (Kindle) - A six issue comic book collection set after the Adventure Time finale, with Simon Petrikov going on an apology tour to make amends for his time as Ice King, only to find his memory starting to falter. An enjoyable tale, with artwork that really looked great when read on my iPad: B+

95. The Autobiography of Kathryn Janeway by Una McCormac (Kindle) - Much like the earlier autobiographies of James T. Kirk and Jean-Luc Picard, this book takes a look back at the life of Voyager’s captain, supposedly in her own words, but unlike the previous volumes, this isn’t one I found particularly engaging. Short in length and feeling somewhat rushed in execution, this book was fine; if you’re looking for a more involved take on the pre-Delta Quadrant life of Kathryn Janeway, Mosaic by Voyager executive producer Jeri Taylor is well worth a look; it’s been years since I’ve read it, but I recall it being an enthralling novel – but sadly one I believe this new book contradicts in places: B-

96. Secret Fords Vol. 1 by Steve Saxty - I found out about this book via instagram, and being fascinated by the development of cars and with a particular soft spot for 80s Fords, I gave it a whirl - and what a read! Packed full of previously unseen photos and informative text, this is a real treasure trove of information about some of Ford’s most well-known cars. This collector’s edition came with a shorter scrapbook, which although slight in comparison to the main book, provided even more details about unseen concepts and paths not taken with familiar cars: A 

97. Five Decembers by James Kestrel - In this Hard Case Crime book detective Joe McCrady investigates a double murder on one of the Hawaiian islands, an investigation that sees him follow the trail of his suspect all the way to Hong Kong, on the eve of the outbreak of the Second World War. An epic, thrilling novel that I couldn’t put down; brilliant characters, beautifully written and perfectly plotted with numerous twists and turns along the way - highly recommended: A+

98. The Dark Knight by Dennis O’Neil - After rewatching the 2008 movie I thought I’d scratch the itch of never having read the novelisation. Out of print, I managed to pick up a pristine copy off eBay for just £1.80 - and it’s a decent read! Crisply written, with some added connective tissue that links it to the previous film, Batman Begins, this was a quick and enjoyable read: A

99. Alien 3: The Unproduced Screenplay by Pat Cadigan - As the title suggests, this is a novelisation of the unproduced William Gibson script for the third Alien movie, which focuses on Michael Biehn’s character, Colonial Marine Hicks. Regular readers (do you still exist?!) will recall I read the graphic novel version of this back in 2019 (which apparently was based on a different draft of the script) and rated it a ‘B’; with considerably more room to breath life into Gibson’s story, Cadigan’s novel is a much more enjoyable and engrossing read. I still prefer the movie we ultimately got, but I enjoyed this a lot: A

100. Star Trek: Picard - The Dark Veil by James Swallow - The second novel set in the continuity of the Picard television series follows Captain Riker and the crew of the U.S.S. Titan as they discover a friendly but secretive species intend to depart their planet wholesale for a distant part of the universe, while also dealing with the presence of a Romulan ship. Not tied anywhere near as heavily into the series as the first novel based off the show, this felt very much like a regular Star Trek story that just happened to touch on certain plot lines featured in Picard: B-

101. Blood on the Mink by Robert Silverberg - A short novel following a man who assumes the identity of a crime gang operative in order to disrupt a mob scheme to print and distribute fake bank notes. Short and snappy, this was a solid crime read, with two excellent short stories by the author filling out the book’s length: A-

102. 361 by Donald E. Westlake - Two brothers, one still recovering from the life-changing injuries caused by the shooting that claimed the life of their father, set out for revenge. One of the darker and more grim Westlake novels I’ve read, but a gripping tale nevertheless: A

103. The Plot by Jean Hanff Korelitz (Kindle) - Recommended to me by my Dad, this book is about a down on his luck writer who, while teaching a writing course, discovers one of his students has developed a tale that promises to be a bestseller. When the student dies, the teacher writes his own version of the story, only to find himself the focus of a targeted hate campaign when it goes on to become a huge success. A slow burner, but one that really gets going as the plot unfolds; I really enjoyed this: A-

104. The Dead Man’s Brother by Roger Zelazny - A Hard Case Crime novel in which a former criminal is charged with discovering what as happened to money stolen from the Vatican. Perhaps the HCC book I’ve enjoyed the least, but one that still tells a diverting enough tale: B

105. Batman by Craig Shaw Gardner - Upon discovering a pristine hardcover edition of this novelisation of the 1989 film, I had to have it – which also gave me an opportunity to revisit the book that probably sparked my love for movie adaptations. I remember devouring this book in a day when I first read it back in ’89 (a paperback edition I still own and treasure); this time around I savoured it a little longer, but enjoyed it every bit as much. Gardner’s book is the perfect novelisation: briskly written, descriptive, and with scenes that differ in places, or expand upon those seen in the film. Huge fun: A

106. Batman Returns by Craig Shaw Gardner - And with a beautiful hardcover edition of Batman, I had to track down a matching Batman Returns edition too. Having given away my paperback of this book back in 2005, I was overjoyed to find an unread hardcover of Gardner’s second Batman adaptation to replace it. The story is well known, and the book a very enjoyable read, though it lacks much in the way of the expanded/extra scenes that helped its predecessor stand out. Still, huge fun: A-

107. The Labyrinth by Simon Stålenhag - The latest book from the author of Tales from the Loop is another oversized book packed full of gorgeous artwork and sparse text filling in a story, this time about a community of humans who have had to retreat below the surface of Earth after an unusual phenomena renders the outside world uninhabitable. But instead of focusing on that story, The Labyrinth instead tells a smaller, more character based tale – which proves every bit as absorbing. Wonderful: A

108. Fan Fiction by Brent Spiner - The actor who brought Data to life in Star Trek: The Next Generation turns his hand to writing with this ‘mem-noir,’ apparently inspired by real events. In this fictional account, set during production of TNG, Spiner tells the tale of Lal, a stalker who threatens his life, and the complex  web of intrigue and, yes, comedy that follows. A hugely enjoyable book, with Spiner’s voice and sense of humour coming across loud and clear on every page. The only question is… exactly how much of it is true? A

109. The Night Always Comes by Willy Vlautin - The latest novel by one of my very favourite authors takes place across two days and two nights, as a hard-done by young woman tries to raise the money she needs to buy her family home. Like Vlautin’s best works, this is an inspiring story of one person’s determination against insurmountable odd. Tinged throughout with sadness and despair, but ultimately an uplifting tale: A

110. Moominland Midwinter by Tove Jansson - A new version of a book I adore, featuring seven beautiful illustrations by Tove Jansson which have never previously been included in an English language edition. The tale of Moomintroll waking from hibernation remains as enthralling as it was when I first read it a few years ago, and this special edition is a wonderful addition for both Moomin completists and those discovering Jansson’s timeless tales for the first time: A+

111. Future Crimes edited by Mike Ashley - A British Library collection of short stories mixing crime and science-fiction. There are some cracking tales included here, but, as I’ve found with previous volumes in this series, it’s those by obscure authors that prove the more exciting read for me: B+

112. Secret Fords Vol. 2 by Steve Saxty - The second volume in Saxty’s exploration of cars the Ford Motor Company never made. This book - and it’s companion scrapbook - explore the development of the 1989 Fiesta, the flawed CE14 Escort, through the Mondeo and Focus that revitalised the company. Along the way there are fascinating stories about the Scorpio, the Ka, and a whole host of other cars that never made it out of the development workshops. An incredible read for anyone interested in Fords or how a car is developed: A+

113. Chasing the Boogeyman by Richard Chizmar - A novel written in the style of a true crime book, detailing the hunt for a killer dubbed the ‘boogeyman’ in the author’s home town in the late 1980s. I was gripped by this book from start to finish - and it was made all the more thrilling by successfully keeping me from correctly identifying the identity of the killer. Highly recommended: A+

114. Search For Spock by Robb Pearlman - A fun book very much in the style of Where’s Wally, where the reader must locate the U.S.S. Enterprise’s Vulcan first officer in a variety of colourful artworks showing characters and scenes from Star Trek. Slight, but a fun diversion: B+

115. They Called Us Enemy by George Takei - A graphic novel memoir telling the story of Star Trek actor Takei’s incarceration, along with his family and 120,000 other Japanese American people, in internment camps during the Second World War. Takei’s voice comes through strongly in this book, while clean artwork comfortably runs the fine line between comic book exaggeration and gritty realism. Heartfelt and horrifying by equal measure, this was utterly absorbing: A

116. The Colorado Kid by Stephen King - A short Stephen King novel that was written in the early days of Hard Case Crime. Not so much a crime novel as it is a mystery, with two old newspaper men regaling their younger colleague with the story of a man's body found on a beach years earlier. Short and yet beautifully told, their is no definitive conclusion to the mystery told here – and the story is all the better for it: A

So there we go. ONE HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN books. Phew. I need a lie down. But wait! I've already got 19 on my to-read stack, and I've still got all those Dick Tracy collections to finish. Will I manage them all in the next twelve months?! Tune in same time, same place next year to find out!

Happy New Year!

**Update** 

Just like last year, I read another one.

117. Wyrd and Other Derelictions by Adam L.G. Nevill - A collection of short stories set in the aftermath of cataclysmic events, with no characters present. An interesting idea for sure, and there are some nice touches throughout, but I found the stories almost too descriptive (if that's possible) for the most part. Still, I do wonder if this is a book that will stay in my head for a while: B